Walk a lonesome road

Story notes (spoilers and warnings)

Scroll to the end for specific warnings.

This is an Alternate Universe story to Cold Front - you don't need to read Cold Front or its sequels first, but you will find resonances in Walk a Lonesome Road that you'll miss otherwise. All you actually need as background is here. Be aware, however, Dek and Ren have followed different careers, made different choices, and their world is somewhat colder and harsher than what it appears to be in the Cold Front arc. Dek's background is also somewhat less privileged.

This is only the second time I've written mpreg, and the reason is the same - I got sucked into reading a few examples of the genre, and got frustrated by the conventions. I was looking for a genuine examination of the difficulties for, emotions of, and impact upon a man suddenly faced with a unique situation, and what I kept getting was pregnancy porn. Heaping of misery upon the person (but always in the context of a caring, modern environment with lots of helpers and advisors, and naturally a loving and supporting partner - eventually) for no reason than glee at making a man go through what women do. Angst about whether the partner will love them because of/despite the miracle child, and the pregnancy either always cements an existing relationship, or brings one into existence because the partner suddenly realises he can't be without the 'mother' of his child. Lots of stuff about the birth, breastfeeding, and cutely clueless men running around and being admirable for looking after the wee babe (because if a man does it, how marvellous. Uh - it's not like men don't look after newborns all the time, either with a partner or on their own, or that women don't.) And of course, the childe must be cute and beautiful and perfect and.... Well, puke.

Fluffy mpreg isn't what I wanted to read. I was fascinated by the science of it, the 'what if' aspect, and how a man would cope if this was imposed on him without his consent, in a situation where he was in desperate danger. What the mpreg authors I've read all ignore is just how peculiarly dangerous male pregnancy would be for a human male. Being a hurt/comfort/angst junkie, I thought this was a gold mine to explore.

But why an AU story? I'd touched on the themes of paranormal fertility, and Ren's peculiar possible fertility in Cold Front, but didn't develop it there because it was just background. But in the back of my head, I had a darker vision of the way Pindoni society might have gone, or might go, and while I don't want to make it my main 'canon', I wanted to explore those ideas in the context of my established society and characters. Hence, Walk a lonesome road is a true alternate universe - or, if you like, it's fanfiction on my own story. It's a 'what might have been'. I may write more in this world, or I might not. But that's why I didn't create an entirely new arc for this story and this idea.

I hope you won't find this is typical mpreg - if you do, then I've failed. To me, this is just science fiction, like Left Hand of Darkness, or Enemy Mine. I'm far from the first to do it, but I wish more authors would tackle it in a non-crackfic kind of way. If your first reaction to this story was 'euw, mpreg' but you read it anyway, I thank you for giving me a chance to prove it doesn't have to be all about feminisation of male characters, and cute babies.

I did a little bit of reading for this, though most of it I based on years of female friends complaining about pregnancy, and my degree in animal physiology. Here are some non-exhaustive list of links that can get you started:

An overview

www.malepregnancy.com (NB - this is a 'speculative' site, not a real one)
The Wiki entry

Specific medical aspects of pregnancy and abdominal pregnancy

Abdominal Pregnancy
Pregnancy
Morning sickness
Ectopic pregnancy
Laparotomy
The placenta (including why the foetus isn't rejected by the 'mother')
The embryo as parasite

Specific examples of successful abdominal pregnancies

A Canadian case
A British one
Another British one

Warnings for this story: Male pregnancy, discussion of past violence and abuse, graphic medical details, heavy angst. No explicit m/m. Adult themes.