The Surrogate

Chapter 1

“Name?”

I resisted the urge to sigh. “Nikolas Ekinze. The same as it was yesterday.”

The tasking master looked up. “That cheeky mouth of yours won’t get you work, boy. Still looking for locksmithing work?”

“Any metal working, or jewellery, silversmithing.” Same thing I’ve told the man every day for three weeks.

“Hmmm. Nothing along those lines.” What a surprise. “Won’t work in the mines?”

“Not unless I’m actually starving to death, no.” I was pretty near the end of my funds, but the mines would mean a short and unpleasant life for someone of my height and build. “But I’ll do anything else.”

“There is nothing else, boy. We’ve got locksmiths and metal workers coming out of our ears. Every journeyman tinsmith, silversmith and clockmaker from Jendon is here in Egin. We can take our pick.” He looked me up and down. “If you had a bit more flesh on you, there’s a stable wanting someone to shift shit. But you’d pass out in half a day.”

“I can do it,” I said eagerly. “I’ve mucked out stables before.”

But the tasking master shook his head. “We’ve got strong lads aplenty, with more brawn and none of your smart mouth. There’s nothing here today. Come back tomorrow.”

Same story, every day. My previous job had lasted for a month, working in a forge, but the thing caught fire and burned down, killing the blacksmith and two of his men. I escaped with the clothes on my back, and my coin purse in my pocket. Since then, I’d been living on what I could earn casually – or beg – and hoping for work that wouldn’t kill or cripple me. But the tasking master was right – I was nothing special in a city full of men driven from their villages by the drought in our land. Egin port was a magnet for those looking for something, anything, to sustain themselves and their families back home. I had only myself to support, so I was one of the lucky ones, I guess. But with hunger gnawing at my stomach, and the prospect of trying to make a silver coin and three copper ones last me for lodging and food until I could get work, I didn’t feel very lucky.

I walked out of the work hall, wondering if I should just take my chances and go back home. But the drought still continued, and even if the rains came, it would be half a year before there were crops and food and any use for a twenty-three year old male with a minor Talent and a skill that only people with money and leisure needed. Locks weren’t much use when you had nothing to preserve.

“Are you looking for work?”

I stopped and turned to the source of the voice. It was a tall man, dressed all in unrelieved black, his hair covered by a cloak hood, and his eyes hidden in its shadow. “Yes, I am. Do you need someone? I’m an excellent locksmith....”

“I have no need of your skills.” I realised the man was accompanied by two guards from the temple of Paon. That explained the dark clothing and the arrogant air, I thought. “My name is Jaime. I have work for up to a year, if you want it.”

“Doing what?”

But Jaime shook his head. “I can’t tell you that here, or now. Come to the temple in an hour. If you’re not there, the offer is gone.”

And then he walked away, the two guards a pace behind him. I stood there with my mouth slightly open in surprise. What kind of work could need my presence but not my skill? Did they need someone to polish their bloody candlesticks?

Even though I was desperate, I hesitated a little. Paon was a dark god worshipped throughout the land of Gidin, though not in my own where we held the Gidinian gods in contempt. But here, the people feared three deities – Neku, goddess of the moon, Fri, god of the sky and the sun, and Paon, the god of the earth and all beneath it. Paon was held to be the most powerful, and the most vengeful – from him, the Gidinians believed, all punishment, all fertility, all fortune and all prosperity came. He was a greedy god, demanding sacrifices, monetary offerings and obedience. His priests wore nothing but black robes, the temple guards were all decked out in darkened bronze, crow feathers and black woollen tunics. I didn’t like the idea of spending an hour in his temple, let alone a year.

But still, Paon was a pagan deity with no power over those who did not believe in him, and a temple was at least not a coal or copper mine. I could talk to this Jaime, and maybe beg a little food from him as compensation for taking the trouble to come to him. I worked with silver because I had a silver tongue, I’d been told more than once, and it was true I’d spun out my meagre savings as much by charm as frugality. I wasn’t too proud to beg from this mysterious man.

The temple was set in a huge walled area right in the middle of the city, not far from the palace and nearly twice its size. I’d honestly never thought to set foot in either building, and I couldn’t hold back a shiver as I walked up the red marble steps to the imposing column fronted entrance. Giving Jaime’s name gave me admittance, and I was told rather rudely to wait in an antechamber that overlooked the main hall of worship, whose purpose seemed to be to impress on any supplicant just how unworthy and small they were in comparison to Paon’s magnificence. The hall was full of the faithful, bowing and praying and chanting, and the air was thick with the scent of sickly incense and burned, dead things sacrifice to the god.

I was made to wait longer than I thought was polite or necessary, and Jaime, when he came to collect me, didn’t explain or apologise, which didn’t improve my temper. Only the growling in my stomach made me stay. I thought I had no pride left – it seemed there was a trickle in me after all.

He took me through long corridors and down a series of steps to a rather dark and small room – I tried to resist the temptation to call it a cell, but that’s what it felt like. There was a table and two chairs, and I was ordered to sit on one. He took the other. I noticed he still didn’t remove his hood. The only light was from a high window, so all I could really see clearly were his hands, and a small area of chin. The rest was in shadow. “What is your name?”

“Nikolas.” I waited to see if he wanted more – apparently not. “What do you need someone to do?”

“Not yet. Are you in good health? How long since you came from Jendon?”

“I’m fit. Six months.”

“Family? Attachments? Wife? Lover?”

“Father and brothers. No one else.”

He nodded. “Are you a virgin?”

“Am I what?”

He tilted his head and for the first time, I could see dark, cold eyes looking back at me. “Answer the question. I will pay you for your time this morning. Three silver pieces.”

I swallowed. That was a generous week’s pay for a skilled workman. “No, I’m not a virgin.”

“Lain with women only, or with men?”

“Both,” I admitted reluctantly. I’d got the impression that the Gidinians didn’t really like men sleeping with their own sex. Not that this stopped me finding partners for hurried fumblings behind inns, and none of them seemed to care whether the mouth or arse they were thrusting their cocks into belonged to a man or a woman. The sex and the occasional warm bed had been equally welcome.

Jaime didn’t seem to care though. “I wish to determine that you are free from disease. One of our temple physicians will examine you. Remove your clothes.”

“Not on your bloody life.”

He stood. “Then leave,” he said coldly, already walking to the door.

“What about my money?”

“That was on the condition I got cooperation. Get out.”

He had his hand on the door.

“Wait.” Three silver pieces.... “Just an examination?”

“That’s all.”

I started to undo my shirt, and he nodded. There was no other reaction. Once I was naked, and shivering a little in the cold, he walked around me, with no more apparent interest in me than in the table. “You have had anal sex?”

“Yes.”

“Did you like it?”

“Yes. Look, I didn’t come here....”

“Be quiet and bend over.” I glared at him. “Do it or leave.”

Was he just a pervert? Was this cheaper or more discreet than a brothel? Gritting my teeth, I obeyed, my balls crawling up inside me as I suffered his silent examination. At least it was only with his eyes.

“Sit down.”

As I did as I was told, he went to the door and spoke to someone outside it. In only a moment or two, the door opened and an elderly man carrying a small case, came in and bowed. “Here, ensure he is fit,” Jaime said, before leaving the room, and me with what I assumed was the temple physician.

The man spoke to me only to order me to open my mouth, tilt my head this way or that, raise my arms, stand, sit, bend over, cough and spread my legs. I yelled when he stuck something up my arse, but he didn’t react at all, except to take my balls in his hand and heft them as if checking they were correct weight. I’d already decided I was dealing with a couple of madmen here, and if the silver was not forthcoming, then I was going to report them to...to, well, whoever policed the bloody perverts in this cursed city.

Finally the old bastard was done, and without a word to me, he slipped out of the room. No one said I could dress, but then no one said I couldn’t, so I did, feeling violated and angry. I’m not ashamed of my body, far from it, but I like to have the choosing of who gets to look at it, and especially inside it. That physician had been lucky I’m not a man prone to violence because he’d come close to being punched when his nasty little probe went where I would suffer a cock, a finger or a tongue and nothing else – and that by invitation only.

I sat there, increasingly sure I was the victim of a hoax of some kind, some wealthy man getting his jollies from picking up unemployed men and pretending there was work for them. The temple thing must be an arrangement – maybe Jaime paid them to let him use their house of worship for his perversion.

Finally he returned and sat back down at the table. “You’re suitable for our purposes....”

“And what purposes might they be?” I said without any attempt to conceal my sarcasm. “Do you enjoy seeing pretty boys being fingered? Watching through a spyhole, were you?”

“For what I need you for, your tongue is not required. Bridle it, or lose it.”

“You’re threatening me?”

“I’m stating a fact. We are being watched. You are being examined as we speak. Be quiet or be punished. Paon does not allow disrespect within these walls.”

I nearly told him Paon be buggered but then I thought that was probably unwise. “What exactly do you want me to do?”

“Not yet,” he said, as before, and I nearly walked out at that point – except I really, really needed those coins. “The work is for a year, here in the temple. It is physically light, you will be well-treated, fed and clothed. The pay is twenty silver pieces a week....”

“Tw...twenty? Twenty silver pieces?”

“At last I have your interest,” he said with a sneer. “Yes, twenty silver pieces, all good coin, per week, paid monthly. And if you stay for the full year, you will receive half a year’s wages as a bonus when you leave.”

I stared. “Who do I have to kill?” I whispered.

His mouth curled in what might have been a smile, except there was no humour in it. “No one. In return, you will live here and wear the collar and bracelet of the temple, although you may come and go as you please when your attendance for your duties are not required, provided you wear the symbols of your indenture to the temple. You will have no sexual congress with man or woman in that time, save as ordered....”

“What?”

“Save as ordered. And if you speak to anyone of the terms of your employment, or your duties, or disobey any order, you will be severely punished. Most severely.”

“You still haven’t told me what I need to do.”

“I can’t do that until I have your bond that you will enter into the contract.”

I shook my head. “Sorry. I’m not agreeing those terms until I know what you want me to do.”

He looked me up and down. “Nothing that you haven’t done before, I’m sure. Nothing that you would find displeasing.”

“Right. Sorry, thanks but no thanks. I’ve done what you asked, let that old fart play with my privates, and listened to your terms. Now pay me and let me go.”

He pulled a purse from his belt, opened it and drew out three coins. He slapped them on the table. “Take them and leave. Speak to no one of this morning’s doings or you will find it goes hard with you.”

“Don’t worry, you think I want to tell people I let two perverts get an eyeful of me?”

He looked at me coolly. “It is not I who let them do so for money.” He stood and threw open the door. “Get out. The guards will take you.”

I stalked out. He didn’t follow me. The guards took me out of the temple without saying a word to me, and as I left, drawing a deep breath of relief to be out in the fresh air again, they took up position at the entrance, making it clear re-entry wasn’t an option.

The coins felt cold and dirty in my hand. If I hadn’t been desperate, and now very, very hungry indeed, I would have thrown them away. But instead, I swallowed my troublesome pride and broke one of the coins to buy a loaf of bread and a mug of beer, which I consumed sitting under a tree at the edge of the market square.

What in the names of the gods was all that about? The more I thought about it, the more I thought that the whole thing had to be for the benefit of the mysterious watchers, not for Jaime himself, whose distaste for the interview and for me himself was obvious. Part of me was wild with curiosity to know what the job would have been – the rest of me recoiled in revulsion from any idea of working there, when whatever the position was required an unhealthy obsession with my anus. I’d heard the temples in Gidin were dark and evil places – I hadn’t expected anything like this.

After eating the good fresh bread, and drinking the beer, I felt a lot better. It was easier to think and be cheerful when my belly was full, and the pervert’s coin didn’t seem so dirty any more. Now I easily had money for a week or even more, if I was careful and slept outdoors. The weather was still mild, though autumn had already started. Surely in a week, I could find something to do.

I spent the rest of the day going from market stall to market stall and then shop to shop, asking for work, food, help of any kind. A couple of stall holders gave me a little fruit, a piece of stale bread, most gave me an earful of abuse – I wasn’t the only beggar that day. I earned a copper coin helping a wine merchant move some barrels (and wish the stingy tasking master could have seen I was fit enough to do such work) but he had no more jobs for me, nor did he need someone further, since it was only that his lad was off on errands across the city. Still, I bore the place in mind – the lad would run more errands and if I made myself available and useful, one never knew, the merchant might decide I was handy to keep around.

A copper would buy me a frugal meal – two would buy me a better one and another mug of beer in an inn, and if I had to spend the night outside, I decided I would at least treat myself to a few hours indoors with company. Who knew? I might get lucky and get a better offer than sleeping up on a roof, surrounded by stray cats.

The inns was busy, and I wasn’t only the only man from Jendon there, nor even the most desperate looking. I gladly shared a table with two men from my homeland, and decided that in the spirit of comradeship, I could share a little of my good fortune and buy them a beer to go with their meal, for it was clear they could not afford drink as well as food. “Thank you kindly, Nikolas,” the older of the two, one Johan, said, saluting me with his mug. “I keep telling myself that the hard times must end soon, but there is no end in sight.”

“We need the rain,” his companion, Syros, said bitterly. “The blessed rain which never comes, the clouds boil up but never give up their bounty.”

“Aye, it’s hard to watch. Harder to watch the young ones with their empty bellies and empty eyes,” Johan said.

“You have children?”

“Just the two. Two boys, ten and six. I send what I can back to them, but it’s never enough. I think it’d be easier to chop myself into little pieces and send that back for them to roast.”

“Well, you’d make a good meal or three, but you’d not last more than a fortnight,” I said, making light of the grim remark. “Come, don’t be talking like that. You’ve not thought of the mines?”

“Too old,” Johan said.

“And I’m too runtish,” Syros added.

“Well, I’m both too runtish and too tall. My back won’t take being bent over all day, not for six coppers. I’d be crippled in a month, and then I’d have no money nor work at all.”

Syros nodded. “That’s the sin of it. Johan and I are thinking of walking to Perikeg tomorrow – they say there’s work there, on farms, mending roofs and the like.”

“That’s a hundred miles,” I said, aghast. “Can you survive such a journey with no money or food?”

“Well, you see, that’s our difficulty,” John said with an apologetic smile. “But we thought we could beg our way there.”

I thought privately they were unlikely to find any charity on the road when the city was so mean. We talked of home for a while, making our meals stretch and the beer last as long as we could. I looked at my purse with regret – I wanted another beer, but if I was going to be that profligate, I’d be better off squandering my health in the mines after all. At least they gave the miners free beer at the end of their shifts, though it did nothing more than replace the sweat the workers lost underground. A month in the mines left most men hollow wrecks. It was why there was always demand for workers there, when there was none anywhere else.

“Well, time to find a warm place to sleep. You fellows have somewhere?”

“Aye, there’s a stable that lets us use the loft, provided we keep ourselves clean, and we keep a watch on the horses and for fire. I’d offer you a place, but I don’t want to annoy the stable master,” Johan said regretfully.

“Ah, never mind, I understand. But maybe when you’re gone, I’ll apply – which one is it?” They named a small place to the western end of the market. I would try my luck tomorrow, if Johan and Syros really were leaving. “Thanks for the tip.”

“Thanks for the beer. We may as well walk out together. You never know who’s about these days.”

This was unfortunately true and one of the reasons I slept on roofs – the risked of being robbed was that much less. I also got the warmth from the stove chimneys too, so it wasn’t bad even though the ‘bed’ was hard. Since I had a little money, I would be able to get a bed in a boarding house, but I was saving that for when the weather got cold. For now, a roof was all I needed. I was used to it by now.

We walked down the street towards the market. No townsfolk carrying lamps, but lights from the windows of the inns revealed there were men everywhere sleeping in the shadows, or sitting eating a precious bit of meat or bread, seeking a little shelter. Some had blankets, most had not. I’d lost mine in the fire. I would need to buy or beg one soon.

“What was that?” Johan suddenly stopped.

“What was what?” I asked, confused. “I heard nothing.”

“No, I heard it too,” Syros said. “A child, crying. Sound like she was in pain too.”

I strained but could hear nothing over the sounds coming from the inns along the alley. “Are you sure? Anyway, it’s probably coming from the inn....”

“No, it was a child, I’m sure,” Johan said. “I’m a father, I can’t let a child be hurt.”

“Well, let’s look, “ I said, though without a lantern, I wondered how we could even see this child, if such it was.

The side alley was almost completely dark. “There’s no one here,” I said. “It was probably just a cat.”

“Aye, it probably was. Now, Nikolas. If you would hand over that purse of yours, we’ll be heading off.”

“Wha...?” I stopped short as something sharp poked me in the sides, and then Syros’ hand untied my purse from my belt and lifted it from my pocket. “I’m from Jendon too, you bastards! I bought you beer!”

“Yes, you did, and thank you again for that. Sorry about this, lad, but there’s them what need this more than you.”

“You....” But I never finished the oath, because something hit me from behind. I didn’t even remember falling to the ground.

I woke with my cheek pressed against the cobbles, and my brain pounding in beat to my pulse. I tried to get up, but fell back down again with a groan, feeling like I wanted to be sick. Those bastards. Those bloody, thieving, cursed bastards. With a shaky hand, I confirmed what I already knew – they’d taken the purse, and even my poor, blunt knife, all I had to cut my bread when I could buy it. Which I couldn’t now.

I tried to get up again, and this time succeeded long enough to throw up. I crawled away from my mess, wiping my mouth on my sleeve, and knowing, even with my headache distracting me so much, that I was now in a desperate situation.

All I could do in the dark was sit against the wall and wait for the dawn. I slept badly because of the pain and the sickness, and when the first light hit, I was a sorry mess – smelling of vomit, my clothes filthy from the street, and there was a knot on the back of my head which felt the size of an egg. I spent a few minutes cursing the evil sons of bitches who’d done this to me, because I had no better occupation, but I knew I couldn’t sit there all day. I pulled myself up and dragged myself to the market square – there was a public well and a trough for horses and such as me, if we were quick and the watchmen didn’t see. I dunked my head and washed my face, before taking off my shirt and scrubbing it as best I could – I could do nothing about my pants because to walk naked in the streets of Egin was to invite a public flogging. I laid my wet shirt against the knot on the back of my head for a few moments, which helped, then rinsed it again and wrung it out. All I could do was to put it on wet, and let it dry on my body. It felt bloody cold and unpleasant, but at least I was decent, and had the semblance of cleanliness.

I rested on a stone seat, thoughtfully provided by the city fathers for the weary market goers, and considered my options, holding my aching head in my hands. I could try the work hall again, though I knew it would be barren. I could resort to theft as Johan and Syros had done, the lousy shits, but I still had that slight pride in myself that recoiled from thieving money, because to take from the poor was simply wrong, and to take from the rich was to invite being strangled in the central square. I couldn’t face the mines, not that day. Maybe the next.

Or there was the strange offer from the temple. I looked in the direction of the big, dark black and red building with its huge walls that could hold several villages within its area, and cursed the god in whose honour it existed. Had Paon arranged all this to manipulate me into accept Jaime’s work?

I knew, even as I tried desperately to think of another answer, that I was going to have to do it, even if it was only for a week or whatever the minimum time of employment was. Twenty silver pieces would go a long way, and this time, I could be a bit more cautious, hide the money other than on my person. He hadn’t said I had to work a whole year – only that if I did, I would be rich. I didn’t want to be rich. I just didn’t want to starve to death. Twenty silver pieces might even take me to Perikeg, if it was true there really was work there – but of course, that could have been a lie. I was now sure ‘Johan’ and ‘Syros’ weren’t their names, and now I thought about it, Johan was surely too old to have such young children as he claimed. All I could really be sure of was that they were from Jendon, or at least, their families were. There had been Jendonese living in Egin for generations, and for all I knew, my assailants had learned to fake a genuine accent simply by listening to all the incomers. I knew nothing at all, for certain, and if I complained to the watch, they would be sure to point this unpleasant fact out to me. The watch didn’t care about the safety of the Jendonese – only that we kept out of trouble.

The day was a-wasting, and if I wanted to seize this opportunity, unwelcome or not, I couldn’t risk that Jaime would find another candidate. I didn’t know what his criteria for recruitment were, but there were men aplenty to choose from, and I was nothing special, I knew. Reluctantly, I let my feet find their way to the temple, not sure if the nausea I was feeling was from being knocked out, or from revulsion at what I might be asked to do.

Jaime’s name didn’t produce the immediate response it had the previous day. In fact, it looked as if I was already too late – the guards told me I couldn’t enter the temple, and they made no move to send for the man. I argued for a little while, but there was clearly no point. Despairing, I turned away and stumbled down the marble stairs, back towards the city. There seemed little else to try but the mines, perhaps the penalty I had to pay for my stupid, trusting nature.

I jerked as my arm was taken. I turned and saw it was one of the temple guards. “Come with me.”

“Let me go!”

He did so immediately, rather to my surprise. “Don’t you want to see Jaime?”

“Uh...yes. You just startled me.” He went to take my arm again, but I pulled it away. “Don’t.”

I walked in front of him back to the temple, back up the long stairs, wondering why they couldn’t have just fetched Jaime while I was actually there, instead of making me and my poor head exert themselves so. I was led to the same small room as before, and told to sit.

Conscious I may be being watched again, I tried to sit up straight, and tugged my now damp rather than dripping shirt into a semblance of order, running my fingers through my unruly hair. The bastards had taken my comb – I ask you, who would steal a man’s comb? I had nothing but my shirt, my pants and my boots, and no one would have given me a copper for the lot even if I could have spared them to sell. I had lost my razor in the fire, and hadn’t shaved in three weeks. I knew I looked a complete vagabond. But I supposed I was one now.

No one came for me, and I began to lose my nerve. The stillness and cold of this room was oppressive, the light struggling to get in, as if Paon somehow could control the sunlight too. I was being fanciful, you might think, but let’s see you sit in that room for half an hour and see if you wouldn’t be fanciful too. The statues of the gods that had lined the halls and corridors I’d been led through were menacing, demonic, lit by torches even in the middle of the day. It seemed the temple had little use for natural light – the effect was hellish, to say the least.

At last the door opened and Jaime walked in. He didn’t sit. “You wanted to see me?”

“Yes. I, uh...well, I wondered if the job was still available.”

He wasn’t using the hood today, although he was wearing the cloak, but a scarf covered his hair and half his face. His cold eyes bored into me. “Why?”

“Because I need the work.”

“You needed it yesterday, but you refused it.”

“Yes. Well....”

My fingers drifted unconsciously to my belt, to where my purse would be tied if I still had one. He worked it out immediately. “I see. You’ve been robbed. Injured also. I have no use for damaged goods.”

He turned to leave. “I’m not! I’ve got a bump on the head, but I can still work,” I protested, desperation making me a little forceful. “I swear, set me any task, anything, and I’ll do it. I need the work, I have no money at all.”

He turned. “And what would you do for money, Nikolas?” It was the only time he had used my name. “Would you kill a man?”

“No! Nor commit any crime, if that’s what you’re thinking of asking. But set me any honest task, any job of work, and I’ll do it, however harsh. I’m sorry if I offended you yesterday.”

His lips curled in a sneer. “No, you’re not. You still despise me as a pervert. That’s all right – I don’t think much of you either. The conditions are the same. Total obedience, continence and confidentiality. Fail in any of these, and you won’t live to spend your coin.”

I knew without a shadow of a doubt that he was utterly serious, and if I betrayed my bond, I would suffer just as his words promised. “I understand. I am not to commit a crime?”

“Not in the strictest sense, though....” He caught himself, and I fancied I saw a look of pain briefly cross his face – what I could see of it anyway. “You may find it distasteful, though most of your predecessors have managed for a few weeks at least.”

“I don’t mind dirt or hard work.”

“I’m sure,” he said sardonically. “For those are clean compared with what I offer. Do I have your bond? You will have to sign letters, and remain a minimum of two months. Leave before that, and you will get no coin. Leave and break our conditions, and you will wish you had never been born.”

“You have my word, you don’t have to keep threatening me – I’m broke, not stupid.”

“Very well.” He moved behind the table and sat, his hands clasped in front of him so tight the knuckles showed white against his brown skin. “This temple is blessed above all others devoted to our Lord Paon, because it is here that he has condescended to appear in human form. The God becomes incarnate here so that his seed may fertilise the pious women of this land.” I nearly laughed in his face at such a ridiculous tale, but instead just nodded. “The God Incarnate may not be touched by man or woman save in a particular manner, to allow the planting of his seed. He has decreed that he wishes that two comely men perform for him, to increase the potency of his seed, at the time when he chooses to bestow it on the faithful women of his followers.”

Then I really did laugh. “You’re having me on. No, seriously – you’re telling me that two men have to fuck, so he can get off and impregnate a series of women? This is a joke, right?”

He just continued to stare at me, and if there was any humour in his eyes, I couldn’t see it. “You are, as I told you yesterday, being watched,” and I knew he was warning me for my own good, not his. “Hold your impious tongue. We have a sacred duty. I am the designated surrogate, and I select partners pleasing to our god. So yes, all you have to do to earn your twenty silver pieces a week, is to let me fuck you and pleasure you, once or twice a week. The rest of the time, any duties required of you will be of an exceedingly gentle kind which shouldn’t cause a fine fellow like yourself any difficulty.” His voice dripped with scorn. “Whores would be cheaper, of course, but I can’t be sure they would be free of disease. You will be required to remain free of illness or blemish for your time here. That is your guarantee that you will not suffer any physical harm.”

“How...do you like doing this?”

Again the flash of pain, gone so fast, I barely saw it. “The God commands, I am but a vessel to serve him. Your identity, your beliefs, your intelligence – or your approval – are completely unimportant. If the God commanded, I would fuck a dog. This is what you have agreed to.”

Yes, it was. I thought being a thief was the lowest I could go – now I was nothing but a whore to serve one master. “All right.”

“Very well. The God does not require my service for two days, fortunately – that will allow your head to heal. Wait here.”

Numb with disbelief, I did as I was told. After all, I had just agreed to sell my body for two months, what was a little obedience? In the time I was left alone, I thought about the story I’d been told. Did these people honestly believe they had a god living in this temple? Did the women of this land really think that letting some man pretending to be a god screw them, would bring them luck or some such nonsense? I’d heard of some pretty strange religious beliefs since I’d come to Gidin, but this beat absolutely everything.

And Jaime – for all his declared devotion to his master’s wishes, his revulsion at the task was as clear as if he’d stated it outright. He didn’t seem to be a priest, although who could tell under all that damn clothing, I didn’t know. Why did he do this? Piety? Or was he paid? Somehow, I doubt he would do this for money – his scorn for me agreeing to do just that was so marked, I knew he couldn’t make himself go the same route.

He returned, this time with someone who really did look like a priest, wearing the usual black robes, but also some kind of dark metal headpiece that looked more like a torture device than an ornament. He was shaven-skulled underneath it. “Get up,” Jaime ordered. “My lord Senku, this is the one I have chosen.”

The man looked at me with loathing in his eyes. “You have agreed? You have given your bond?”

I suddenly felt terrified to my core. The man radiated evil, and I wanted to run. Instead, I locked my knees. “Yes,” I said, my throat dry from fear.

“Jaime, the documents.”

Jaime drew papers and a quill from the folds of his cloak, and read the contract out to me. It was a simple document outlining the terms of my employment, although the duties were not specified, and stated that if I left employment outside the contract, I would be dragged back by force – as was normal for indentures. That at least caused me no concern. “Sign them,” he ordered, and I did so, my hand shaking a little. He witnessed it and so did the priest, who took the papers and placed them in his sleeve.

Jaime then produce a silver and metal collar which he fastened around my neck without any ceremony, and similarly a bracelet that sat snugly on my wrist. Neither were uncomfortable and I could get out of them in a moment, for all they were locked tight and the keys deposited very showily on the priest’s belt – no need to let them know my particular skill, of course. I still felt as if I’d been branded, which I supposed was the intention. “You must have these on at all times – remove them and the guards will kill you on sight. If while in our employment, you are seen outside without them – and we will be watching you,” the priest said with a humourless smile, “you will suffer Paon’s wrath. Not a prospect you want to invite on yourself. You will obey every person in this temple without hesitation or question. You will be whipped severely for the first infraction. You won’t want me to tell you what we do for a second offence.”

I swallowed. “No, I suppose not.”

“My lord. He is ‘my lord’ to you,” Jaime snapped.

“Sorry, my lord,” I said as politely as possible.

The priest seemed unmoved. “You know what to do, Jaime. See that he behaves, and maybe he’ll last longer than the previous one.” There was something about the way he said ‘last’ that sounded entirely sinister. Jaime had promised if I was obedient, I wouldn’t be hurt. Was this true?

The priest left, Jaime bowing low, and I followed his example. Once the door was shut, Jaime turned to me. “Every priest here is to be addressed as ‘my lord’, save Minas – he is ‘your holiness’.”

“He’s the head holy guy?”

Jaime sighed. “You really aren’t going to last, are you. Yes, he is the high priest, in direct communication with the God himself. He holds power of life and death over everyone here – including you.”

“Wait a minute – what about the king? Does he know you order people killed to suit yourselves?”

Jaime came up to me, his eyes full of menace. “The king,” he said softly, “has no authority here. Do not think you can appeal to outside help. The only mercy, the only justice, is that of Lord Paon and his chosen servant, Minas. Do you understand?” I nodded. “Now, I tell you this for the third and final time. You are being observed. Make any more impertinent remarks and your tongue will be ripped from your skull. It will only make my job easier if it’s gone.” I felt sick in a way that had nothing to do with the cracked skull. All I could do was nod again. “Good. Now follow me.”

I followed him – or rather stumbled, because between my headache, my hunger and the multiple shocks I’d endured, I was feeling none too steady on my feet all of a sudden. To my surprise, he noticed. “Are you that unwell? You should have said.”

“I’m sorry...going to be sick,” I said, covering my mouth. He swore, and made me sit, where I could do nothing but vomit over myself. Fortunately it was only bile, but it ruined my shirt. I shouldn’t have bothered washing it.

He waited until I was finished heaving, then helped me to my feet. “It’s not far – can you walk?” When I indicated I could, he took me under the arm and kept me steady. It wasn’t far, as he said – a heavy locked door, for which he had an ornate key. To my surprise, there was a suite of rooms that looked almost like those of a normal house – there were even skylights, albeit crossed with iron bars, letting in real light. The contrast with the rest of the temple was astonishing.

He didn’t let me marvel, dragging me into a large and well-appointed bathroom, and telling me to strip. “Toss the clothes into that bin – they’ll be cleaned and kept for you, if you insist on having them back.” Clumsily, I obeyed and sat naked on a stool, waiting for his instructions. “There’s not much hot water, I wasn’t expecting you, but we can clean you a little. Show me the injury.”

I bent my head, then swore as he touched the knot. He made me look up, tilted my head with surprising gentleness as he looked into my eyes. “Hmmm, no concussion. Have you eaten today?”

I shook my head. “Are you a physician?”

“I have a little knowledge. Enough to know you’re not dying and that something light to eat will settle your stomach. Wash yourself. I’ll bring food and something to wear.”

His demeanour, while cold, was nothing like as harsh as it had been before we entered these chambers, and I wondered if we were still being observed. Somehow I doubted it, but I wasn’t going to assume it until I was told otherwise. Still feeling shaky and sick, I used the small amount of water in the stove heater to take the edge off the water standing in buckets to one side. It had been three weeks since I had been able to afford the public baths, although I’d done my best with well water and thorough scrubbing of my clothes when I could. Already I was benefiting from my prostitution, I thought sardonically.

I assumed the towels were there to be used, so I made use of them, leaving one wrapped around my hips. I walked back into the main chamber which, I saw, really like the front room of any normal home. I could smell food being prepared so I followed my nose – and found Jaime stirring soup on a stove in a small kitchen off to one side. “I told you to wait for me,” he snapped, covering the pot and shooing me out of the room. “Don’t follow me about, there isn’t enough privacy here to waste.”

That remark made no sense to me, but I murmured an apology. He told me to wait in the main area, which lined with books on two walls. There were two chairs at a long table, most of which was covered in books and papers, an area only cleared at one end. From the marks on the wood, I guessed that was where Jaime ate. And whoever he had with him.

I suddenly realised this was my new home. I could have had worse, I thought. There was something reassuring about its normality, although the fact it was an apartment set inside a temple meant it really wasn’t normal at all.

Jaime was back in moment, and had finally shed the ever-present cloak – and his scarf – revealing a fine head of sleek dark hair, and a remarkably handsome, if rather cold, face. Like me, he was wearing a collar and bracelet, apparently indistinguishable from my own, and pale clothes, rather shocking after all the black. He thrust a pair of loose trousers and a tunic at me, along with a pair of felt slippers that had soft leather soles. “Here. Wear them for one day only at a time, and then put them in the basket to be washed. You must be clean at all times, and bathe each day, whether the god orders our services or not. When your hands cease shaking, you will shave and remain clean shaven.”

“And where do I sleep?” I asked as I slipped the tunic over my head. Rather to my surprise, it was neither black nor wool – instead, a pale linen, soft and expensive feeling. The trousers were heavier but also of linen. They were very comfortable – I got the impression they were designed to fit men of a variety of sizes and heights, another reminder that I was just one in a series of whores rented out for this insane project.

“With me, of course. There is one bed. Don’t fear, I won’t touch you unless the god orders it.” The sneer was back. “Sit and I’ll bring your food. There, at the table – spill anything on those papers and I’ll beat you to death before Minas gets to know about it.”

I sat obediently, wishing my head would stop hurting and whether his ‘little knowledge’ extended to being able to cure a headache. As he set a tray with bread and soup and a small pot of tea in front of me, I asked him just that. “There are drugs, but I have no access to them. I can ask later if it’s still very bad but I would rather not unless it is. Eat and then you may rest. I don’t use the bedroom during the day, you can consider that your private place until the evening. Don’t touch my things in here, ever. These are my books, my papers, and not for someone like you.”

I ignored the insult, too hungry to be willing to waste eating time on snapping back a retort. The soup was perfect for someone still feeling nauseated, and after half the bowl was gone and some of the bread, I felt a good deal more human. “You have to share your home with...with people like me?”

“It’s not a home. And yes. There’s not much room, and I like my peace and quiet. Finish, wash your mouth and then go to the bedroom.”

“Can’t I even have a book to read?”

He stared at me. “You can read?”

“Of course I can. Everyone in our village can read, except the babies of course.”

For the first time since I’d met him, he looked less than cold. He seemed puzzled. “I never met...I mean, all the previous ones couldn’t....”

“Were they from Jendon proper or locals? A lot of the locals don’t care, I notice. But we all take pride in our learning. At least, we did,” I amended, thinking of how education had become secondary to mere survival in my home. Yet again, I sent up a silent prayer for rain, the healing liquid that would restore peace and prosperity to my home. “What did...the others...do all day?”

“Slept – ate. Played card games. None ever asked me for a book.” He seemed to shake himself. “Do you know how to respect such things? I can’t replace them easily. If you damaged one....”

“Yes, yes, you’ll beat me to death. Of course I respect books – we don’t wipe our arses with the pages if that’s what you’re thinking.”

He watched me finish my meal, and waited until I was sipping the tea which soothed my sore throat, damaged by my vomiting. “I will lend you one book. If you treat it well, I will consider lending you another. You may not leave the temple for a fortnight, but after that, you can do so. You will be given a small advance on your wages, you may use it to buy books or whatever you choose.”

“Do you buy yours from the market?” There were booksellers on the square, but since I had barely money for food, let alone books, I’d not spent any time in them except to ask for work. None of them had ever hired me, so I’d not seen their wares.

“Some.” He gave me no more information than that. “You’re finished, go to the bedroom.”

“The book?”

“Clean your hands and mouth.”

He was serious about this hygiene thing, I could see. I went to the bathroom, washed my face and hands, and used the tooth sticks and mouthwash for good measure. I was now cleaner than any time since leaving my village – at least, physically. When I came out, he insisted on checking my hands like I was a child, and then placed a book into them, an woven embroidered bookmark sitting on top of it. “Use that, don’t mark the pages.”

“I do understand the concept, you know. Are you always this rude to people like me?”

“If you prefer not to have the book, that’s fine by me,” he said, all the stiff formality of before back in his voice.

“No, I want it – I’m sorry,“ I said, putting on my most charming smile. “I know this must be awkward for you.”

If anything, his expression got even colder. “You know nothing, make no presumptions concerning me, and keep your speculations to yourself. Get out of my sight and treat that book with care. Close the door, and don’t come out unless you need to piss. I’ll tell you when the next meal is ready.”

It was a relief to get away from him, and the bedroom was far from the most unpleasant place I’d had to spend time in. It was in fact a spare and airy room, with heavy glass panes in the high ceiling providing plenty of light. There was a large bed, a wardrobe, a chest of drawers, a small table and two chairs. I laid the book down on the table and then spent a few minutes looking in the wardrobe and drawers – clothes and shoes, nothing of any note. I guessed Jaime kept anything precious to him in the main room. I couldn’t tell what was his and what was for my use, but I figured he’d tell me soon enough – he seemed like his personal boundaries, did Jaime.

I sat on the bed, rubbing my forehead. I was tired and still felt sick, so I left the book for later, took off the slippers and stretched out. The bed was very comfortable, almost decadently so, and I wondered if all the priests slept on similar ones. It didn’t seem to go with the image of the place. The blankets and sheets were old but of good quality, as was the furniture. I got the impression these quarters had been used for a long time, and wondered if this was where Jaime had grown up. He was only my age or a little older, although his manner made him seem much more elderly. He seemed an odd person to be in this place – but the entire situation was as strange as it came.

I used my Talent to unlock the collar, and examined it carefully – it was heavy, intricately made of interlocking pieces that were individually engraved. It sat comfortably about my neck, almost like heavy cloth than metal – despite its weight, it was easy to forget I was wearing it after a while. Truly the work of a master silversmith, easily worth fifty silver pieces, or even maybe a gold one – and if I were to try and sell it, I imagine I would not live past the end of the day on which I tried. It seemed to be very old, and I couldn’t work out what the dark metal was. There was something rather creepy about it, so I put it back on and fixed the locking device. It meant I could no longer see it.

I curled up, my emotions in turmoil. On the one hand, my immediate survival was assured, and provided I lasted the two months (for I had already decided to stay the bare minimum and no more, sod the bonus), I would have savings in hand that would keep me for a good while. On the other hand....

Having sex with strangers wasn’t the problem. Jaime wasn’t ugly or that unpleasant that the idea of being fucked by him was repellent in its own right. No, the thing that bothered me was the cold-bloodedness of it. The men who wanted a little fun at night wanted that, wanted me. Jaime thought me repulsive and it was clear the sex was the least enjoyable thing he could conceive of.

Then there was the idea of being on display. I’d watched, been watched, but always by consent and for enjoyment. To have it be so this ‘god’ (probably one of the bloody priests, I thought) could be aroused just seemed as far from enjoyable sex as it was possible to get.

I had no dislike of honest whores, and it was as good a way of separating a man from his coin as any other. But this, this didn’t seem honest or wholesome at all.

Yet, I was caught. I had signed indentures, and I had no other options. My damn pride would just have to be locked up for a few weeks. At least my imprisonment was comfortable.

I slept, dozing on and off for who knew how long, and when I finally roused completely, there was no clue from the light direction. My head felt better, my bladder was full and I was hungry – I presumed it had been several hours at least. Jaime had told me not to leave the room unless I needed a piss (an order which was on the unreasonable side, I thought) so I walked out into the main room with a clear conscience. I still got glared at. “What? I just need the earth closet or what passes for one.”

He pointed towards the bathroom. “Door next to it. Wash your hands afterwards.”

“Yes, mother.” He didn’t appreciate that comment either.

One need satisfied, I went looking for food. “I told you to stay in the bedroom,” he snapped as I started to walk towards the little kitchen.

I turned and put my hands on my hips. “Let’s get a few things clear, Jaime. You’ve bought the right to fuck me, not abuse me. I’ve treated you politely and I expect the same in return. If I have to spend months in close contact with you, a little civility will make it easier for everyone.”

He stalked over to me. “Then let me make a few things clear to you. You’re a servant. All I care about is that your body is healthy and ready for use when the god demands it. The rest of the time, your happiness or your feelings are of no importance to me, and this is my place, I’ll speak to whoever I like, however I like. You’re a necessary evil, no more. Don’t speak to me in that tone of voice or....”

“What, priest boy? You’ll hit me? Mark up the goods? I don’t think so. Anyway, you’re a damn liar. If you didn’t care how I felt, you wouldn’t have lent me that book.”

“A mistake easily remedied,” he said, and turned to go to the bedroom, no doubt to take away my precious prize.

I grabbed his arm, and the reaction was immediate – he swung at me and I had to duck, freeing him in the process. “Do not touch me. Ever.” His lips had thinned almost to invisibility and he had gone pale except for two spots of colour in his cheeks. “You’re a whore. I will not let you lay a hand on me.”

“Oh, fine, I’m a whore and you’re the brothel keeper. You’ll be laying more than a hand on me in two days’ time, so why the scruples?”

He slapped me, so fast I couldn’t dodge, and so hard that it made my ears ring. “You little sh....” I stopped, because there, quite shockingly, was a knife in his hand – small, sharp and looking quite deadly. He had it levelled at my gut.

“Touch me and you’ll die.”

“You hit me!”

“You provoked me. Get out of my sight.”

“I was looking for something to eat,” I said sullenly, rubbing my sore face, and keeping a wary eye on the knife. This fellow was several hay bales short of a stack, that was for sure. “Or am I supposed to starve because you’re in a mood?”

“Supper will be an hour. You can hold on that long. Get out.”

“Did your family pass you off on the temple because you’re a lunatic? Why choose me if you hate me and my type? You’re the one doing the corrupting, I’m just desperate.”

His dark eyes narrowed. “It is not I who corrupts anyone,” he said cryptically. “Get out and let me recover my composure or you will suffer.”

At least there was a tacit admission that he had gone too far, and in truth, I had been provocative. I went back to the bedroom, and returned to the bed, book in hand, but I wasn’t really seeing it, even though I stared at the ornate lettering on the leather cover for several minutes. My face still hurt – bad-tempered little bastard. Jaime was, I was now sure, close to being mad, but there was still some control in him – something, even if it was only fear of his masters, that had stopped him stabbing me just then. But to pull a knife because someone put a hand on his arm or argued with him? And I was supposed to have sex with this fellow?

I lay down and covered my eyes. How long had Jaime being doing this? Maybe it had sent him insane, living here, being nothing better than a toy for some perverted priests. His situation was pitiable, but why did he stay? And did he have to be such a snot all the time?

Think, Nikolas. I knew I didn’t have any other options or wouldn’t be here. I could leave and be as badly off as this morning. I needed the money and the shelter and food meant everything I earned, I could save. Maybe it would rain in those two months and I could go home then. The task wasn’t pleasant but it wouldn’t kill me. The only question was – would Jaime? And could I prevent it happening?

Being polite wasn’t enough. I would have to make him care enough that my welfare became actively important to him. That would mean trying to make him my friend – and becoming his, at least in appearance. It looked like my silver tongue would have to earn its keep, as much as my silver arse would.

Finally I actually took in the title of the book, and nearly laughed. On moral and correct ways of living, for young men of good breeding. It might have been the first book that came to Jaime’s hand – somehow, I suspected it was his idea of a joke. If he had a sense of humour, at least I had that to work with.

The book was very dry and written in a very old-fashioned style. It was fascinating, in a slightly horrifying way, to think that there might actually be people who behaved in this highly elaborate fashion. I read ahead slightly, and saw that manners were just the beginning – the rest of the book covered court politics, business, banking and the correct way to hold a sword. Jaime must have skipped the first few chapters.

The door opened as it was starting to get dark. “Supper is ready,” he said and left again.

At least he really was going to feed me. I carefully bookmarked my place and left the book tidily on the table. I hoped he would take note that I did know the proper care of books – what savages had he been bedding, I wondered. I was determined to spoil him for that kind of person in the future, which perhaps wasn’t very kind of me, but all I wanted to do was get out of this alive and with some money in my purse. How he got through his strange existence wasn’t any of my concern after that.

The soup I’d had earlier was meatless, and the supper was more roasted vegetables, a piece of cheese and bread. There was a jug of ale too, which was very welcome – it wasn’t particularly strong beer, but it was drinkable. I took care over my manners, to show him I was no yokel, not that he seemed to notice me at all. “You’re not allowed meat?”

“It is a meatless day. This and tomorrow.”

“Ah. The food’s very good. You cook for yourself?”

He looked at me with some irritation. “Do you see anyone else here? Don’t ask such stupid questions.”

“I just thought....” He glared again, so I stopped. “Well, you’re very skilled.”

He grunted and looked down at his plate. He seemed to have very little appetite, although his portion was similar to mine, pushing the food around his plate with his fork, apparently fascinated by its appearance. “The book’s interesting, but I don’t know that it would apply to me. My breeding’s nothing exceptional.”

“No doubt.”

“Have you read it?” He disdained to answer. “All that stuff about the correct depth of a bow – you think they still do that at the court?” Still no answer. “You know....”

He looked up. “If you don’t eat that food, I’ll toss it away. I’m not wasting my time cooking for an idle chatterer.”

Fine, be like that, you cranky sod. I ate the rest of the meal in silence, and when I was done, he asked, “Do you want more?” I shook my head and he removed my empty plate and his mostly full one and took it into the kitchen. Everything seemed self-contained here – water was plumbed directly to the rooms, and it had its own heating and cooking. Things must go in and out – my dirty clothes were gone and there was certainly nowhere to wash them, presumably waste food and our night soil had to be taken too – but we seemed remarkably disconnected from the temple.

“How long had you lived here?” I asked when he returned.

He ignored the question. “You talk too much. Clean your hands and mouth and return to the bedroom. I have to go out. Do not touch anything of mine, do not admit anyone, whoever they say they are. Anyone who needs admittance has a key. I won’t return until after you’re asleep.”

“Hey, wait a minute – where are you going? I don’t know anyone here, what if there’s a fire?”

He gave me a cool look. “Then you burn to death.”

Charming little shit. I glared at him as he put on his cloak and the scarf to hide his face and hair, and then picked up a lamp. “I will know if you touch my papers. I’ll kill you if I find you have.”

“Good night to you, too, Jaime,” I said with a deeply perfect bow. “You know, you could just ask. I’m not a pig.”

“No, you’re a whore. Do as I say and go to the bedroom.”

He didn’t wait for me to obey but swept out of the room, locking the door behind him. Like that would stop me leaving if I really wanted to.

I sighed. He was a tough nut, in all senses of the word. I really did want to look at his stuff, so I glanced at the table, but he had everything covered up. Knowing him, he probably had hairs and stuff all over it to see if I’d moved it – wouldn’t put it past him to poison the pages of the books so if I licked my finger, I’d die. The titles of the books I could see all seemed to be about history and natural production. It seemed my gaoler was something of a scholar, but how much of it was real and how much of it was imagination, I had no idea.

It wasn’t yet completely dark in the sky above the ceiling windows, but I still had a headache. The one thing I could do was shave, as I’d been ordered, and while it irked me to groom myself to his command, being scruffy irked me even more. I found razor and soap and towels all neatly laid out in the bathroom – he obviously wasn’t worried about me using the razor as a weapon on him, but the way he could move with that knife, he hardly needed to.

I lit candles which made the room bright enough for me to shave cleanly – my hands weren’t shaking any more, and apart from the ache in my head and on my skull from the actual lump, I was feeling a lot better than I had done when I’d woken that morning. I’d eaten twice that day, good hearty meals – that was the first time in three weeks that had happened. I wondered about Jaime’s poor appetite – and where he had gone. Was he leaving the temple? He was dressed for it.

Pah, I shouldn’t waste my own time thinking of the idiot. It was good to be clean shaven again. Weeks of little food had made me rather gaunt – I wondered why Jaime had chosen me off the street when there were a hundred fellows about he could have chosen. Perhaps I just sent out ‘will fuck for food’ signals to perverts. Could be a useful talent when I left here, if I couldn’t get other work.

I could have just gone to sleep, but with the long nap, I wasn’t so tired any more, so I read more of the book, being extremely careful not to get lamp oil on the pages. I couldn’t help wondering how long Jaime would be and whether it was better to be asleep when he returned or not. Probably asleep, I thought. He clearly wanted as little to do with me as possible. I wasn’t giving up on him yet, but he was so irritable, I could see this would be a long campaign. Irritable was fine – murderous fury was not. I was making a list of things that would get me killed. So far, touching him, insulting him and moving his stuff. That wasn’t too bad a list, I supposed.

I jerked awake and my hands tightened instinctively on what was in them. “Let’s go, you’re damaging it.”

Jaime. I opened my eyes and turned, releasing my grip on the book. He took it and placed it reverently on the table, well away from my reach. “Sorry, I just fell asleep.”

“You had no business holding it if you were drowsy.”

“I wasn’t – what time is it?”

“After midnight. Go to sleep.”

He sat on the other side of the bed, his shoulders slumped, and made no attempt himself to get undressed or move at all. “Are you all right?”

He turned and gave me a fierce look, even though it was clear he was exhausted. “I just told you to go to sleep. Continue chattering and you’ll sleep on the bathroom floor.” I knew he was serious. I got up so I could move under the covers. “Wait – you can’t sleep in your clothes. There’s a nightshirt in the closet.”

“Huh?”

“I said, change your clothes. They’re expensive, not to be slept in.”

“Oh.” Crazy and miserly, what a combination. I fumbled in the closet and found a long dark shirt made of something soft. It also felt on the expensive side. “This?”

He nodded, and then got up and fetched a similar garment from the closet, disappearing before I’d finished changing. He returned shortly afterwards already wearing the shirt – so he was bashful? Odd, considering what he’d hired me for, but the one thing I was learning about Jaime was that he wasn’t at all bothered about being completely inconsistent. He wanted his bed mate to be dressed, but he’d be fucking that bed mate for an audience in a day or two.

I crawled back under the blankets, and Jaime blew out the lamp before doing the same. Unfortunately, now I was awake, I wasn’t sleepy at all – the result of all the napping during the day. I feigned sleep though, to avoid upsetting my cranky partner. Jaime clung to the edge of the bed, his breathing too fast for someone who was on the verge of sleep.

I kept my own breathing as carefully deep and slow as I could – years of sharing with brothers had taught me how to do that, since it meant the difference between being able to successfully slip out for a midnight tryst or two, or not. I knew I’d fooled Jaime when I finally heard him give a deep sigh. The sound surprised me. It was weary, but it also spoke of deep pain.

If he hadn’t been so rude before, I’d have ‘woken up’ and asked him if he was all right – but I knew it wasn’t worth the effort. Instead, I just lay as quietly as I could, hoping not to catch his attention.

Then I heard another sound, a sound I’d heard once or twice sleeping rough. It was a sound desperate men made, separated from their families, hungry, cold and alone in a foreign land. A sound of loss, of grief – of despair. The sound of weeping carefully muffled to avoid being thought weak, or attracting attention.

That nearly did it. I’m not made of stone, and however crazy this bastard was, no one cried like that for nothing. I almost reached for him – and then pulled back my hand. I wasn’t a friend. I wasn’t even someone he respected. All he would feel would be anger and shame that I had noticed his weakness. He already threatened to kill me for touching him, and that was without the rest of it to make it worse.

So I continued to lie still, and finally the quiet sobs ended. Not long after, the snuffling deepened into the slow rhythm of true sleep and I could relax. But I still couldn’t get to sleep for a long time after that. Every time I turned around, this situation got more confusing, more complex....

And, I suspected, much more dangerous.

He was gone when I woke – and so was the damn book. He was sitting already dressed, at the table, reading. “You know, the book was fine until you started pulling on it. I wasn’t doing anything to it.”

He glared at me, no trace of last night’s grief in his expression. “You could have rolled on it.”

“Not likely. I used to read in bed all the time, never damaged a book yet. You’re just being spiteful.” So much for making friends with him, but I hated pettiness in all its forms. “You care a lot more about books than people.” He gave me a little shrug, as if to say, ‘of course I do.’ “Is it because people hurt you and books don’t?”

He shut the book he was reading very carefully, then stood up. “Keep your remarks to yourself. Keep your observations to yourself. Get dressed, eat and then get out of my sight.”

“No. Not until you give me the book back. It’s inhumane, expecting me to sit in a room by myself all day with nothing to occupy myself.”

“Do you feel yourself so cruelly used? Was it someone else who turned up yesterday, starving, desperate, with a broken head? Is it someone else I see before me, clean, fed and well rested? I don’t recall stating we would do anything but pay you. It’s your own stupidity that has led to this. Now get out of my sight!”

The bastard may have had a knife, but I had more stubbornness than a balky cow, always have had, when pushed. “No. In fact, I’m going to sit here and watch you all day if I have to. It’s better than staring at the walls.”

He refused to answer, and instead reopened his book and began writing notes on paper to one side. I pulled out a chair noisily, sat down and folded my arms. I was confident the irritation of my presence would be enough to make him give in. But interesting, I thought – he’d not made a single threat, just demands. Either he was learning that they didn’t really work with me unless you carried them through, or he had been unsettled yesterday and was more rational today. There didn’t seem to be much difference other than that.

It was more interesting than looking at the walls, I had to admit, although it wasn’t the way I would have chosen to spend my days given a choice. I spent a little time speculating what on earth he was doing – was he just translating the book he was peering at so intently? But no, he seemed to be looking at several, and cross-referencing between them. Then he had to consult some letters in a file, and then there was more scribbling. His expression, though intent, was somehow less...severe? He had severe features, cold although rather beautiful, so some of that he couldn’t help. But his eyes were somehow less chilly as he read, and he chewed his lip from time to time, a surprisingly human habit I wouldn’t have suspected in him.

He looked up several times and saw me watching him. I gave him a bright smile each time, and his expression would go blank before he looked back down at his work. I wasn’t doing a very good job at either irritating him or distracting him, unfortunately. I began to count the books I could see around him, and was staggered to find I had reached two hundred before I’d finished a single wall. How could he afford so many? How could he read so many? I wasn’t much of a scholar myself, but I loved to read and would plough through almost anything I could get my hands on. I knew no one who owned so many books themselves, but in our village, we had a small but respectable library for everyone’s use, for the teacher to use for the children, and for the edification of the adults. I’d read every book in it, several times. I wished I was there now.

The wave of homesickness that came over me at that memory, made me sigh, and he looked up. “Go and get dressed.”

The order was phrased less harshly than before, and I chose to interpret it as a slight softening of attitude. “Don’t I need to bathe first?”

“No.” His expression tightened. “We’ll do that tonight...before....”

“It’s tonight? You said two days.”

“Yes. This is the second day.”

Right. He was correct, of course. I just thought I’d have more time before I had to face this. “Clothes?”

“All that are in the dresser are for your use. Leave the dirty ones where I instructed.”

He was still being, for him at least, close to polite, so I obeyed, even washing my face, hands and mouth without waiting to be ordered to do so. I guess he had an obsession with oral hygiene since he might have to kiss me – and for some reason, that made me more nervous than the prospect of being fucked by him. Kissing was for lovers – not for whores, and for all his airs, he was a whore too. I found my stomach tying itself into knots again.

Stop it, I told myself. It’s a job. He’s not revolting. No doubt he’ll want it over as quickly as I will. But the uneasiness remained, and would not go no matter what I told myself.

I resumed my seat, and my dedicated examination, but he paid me no more attention for nearly two hours, by which time I was hungry and my bottom was getting sore from the hard seat. “You’re not going to give in, are you?” He ignored me. “See, I’m not either. How about a compromise – ever heard of them? I read out here under your supervision, I don’t bother you or talk to you, and you can make sure I don’t damage your books or fall asleep over them. That seems fair, don’t you think?”

He still ignored me, and I lost my temper. “Oh, for the gods’ sake, Jaime!”

That made him look up, a sneer on his lips. “The gods?” he said in a quiet voice. “You ask this for the gods’ sake? Why should I give them one more thing than they already have, since they have everything I am, or could ever want. What more could I give them that would make a difference?”

The sharp bitterness in the soft words stung me. “I thought you were this terribly pious person, who would give up everything for Lord Paon.”

“Think what you like.”

“Jaime, please....”

“You realise that’s the first time you’ve said that? You lecture me about manners and civility, but you demand my precious possessions, all that I have to keep my mind from rotting, you abuse my trust when I reluctantly grant you a concession and you sit here like a spoiled child for three hours to try and force me to change my mind – and only now it occurs to you to say ‘please’? Truly, your breeding must not be anything exceptional.”

The bright scorn hurt, because it was just. I got up and bowed. “I’m sorry. I have been rude, and inconsiderate. I didn’t mean to cause you offence.”

I walked back into the bedroom and threw myself on the bed. “Oh yes, Nikolas, some silver tongue, when you forget basic politeness.” He’d been rude too, but he’d not presumed to lecture me on proper behaviour. All he had asked of me was all that I had agreed to. And I hadn’t specified books in my contract, so it was my own damn fault.

It looked as if the penalty for my own failing was going to be boredom and hunger, but the hunger was merely a twinge after what I’d been putting up with lately. As for the boredom – all I had to content myself with were memories of home. I hadn’t had much homesickness since I’d left – things were too awful there, and my father and brothers had long since moved away. I’d stayed because I thought I could make a living working with my uncle, but the drought had put an end to that plan. Since then, it had been a battle just to survive. Now was the first time I had leisure, ironically enough, to think about what I had left behind, my friends, my uncle – although it hurt to know how desperate their situation must be.

I covered my eyes and indulged in a little selfish misery, but then thought if I really was going to be ‘busy’ that night, I may as well try and sleep some more even though I wasn’t tired, just depressed. I rolled over – and found Jaime was watching me from the doorway. I sat up and rubbed my eyes. “I didn’t hear you come in.”

“Lunch is ready. We will need to fast this evening, so it will be the last meal today.”

Surprised at his moderate tone, I followed him out. Lunch was plain – cheese, bread and cold, cooked beans. Simple but tasty, and my empty stomach wasn’t complaining. I left off trying to talk to Jaime, only thanking him as politely as I could when he set the food down and when he took the plate away. I noticed he still didn’t eat much. I got up to return to the bedroom. “Wait.” I turned. “I.... My books...I....”

“It’s all right, Jaime. I can see they’re important to you. I won’t ask for them again. When I’m allowed to leave the temple, I can buy one of my own.”

He nodded, but still seemed to be trying to say something. “I...some of them...I can’t.... If they were lost....” He clenched his fists. “You may read...here.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want to upset you.”

He immediately became cold. “You haven’t. Wash your hands and you may read under supervision.”

The brief distress seemed utterly gone, but for those few moments, he looked so hurt, so desperate. There had to be more to it than mere greed over a few books.

Grateful for the concession, I wasn’t going to push him. I returned and sat meekly where he indicated, and he put the book he’d removed in front of me. To be frank, I was no longer interested in the book. I was feeling so heartsick now. Was this what my father had wanted for me when he had spent so long patiently training me to work silver and steel? When my brothers thought of me, living with their families in the north, did they imagine me a whore, trapped with another tormented individual, reduced to begging for the smallest favour?

“If the book is not to your taste, I will choose another.”

I forced myself to smile. “It’s fine, thank you. I...Tell me what happens this evening, and when?”

He folded his arms and his eyes were cold and unreadable again. “At sunset. You and I will clean our bodies, inside and out, and be taken to the god’s chamber. The fortunate woman who is to receive his seed will be prepared there, and we will...perform...until the god grants his blessing to her.”

It sound like something he’d been told to say, not that he believed. “Is there...a prescribed pattern?” Gods, I couldn’t believe I was having this conversation.

“All that is asked of you is that you be receptive. You must not utter a single word, on pain of severe punishment. I would caution you not to interfere in the least with anything you see done in the chamber, regardless of your feelings. Minas himself presides – Minas has no mercy. You have no value to him or to anyone, do you understand?”

He said it in such a way that I knew it was only a simple statement of fact. I just nodded. “Will it take long?”

“Half an hour, no longer. Unless....” He took a deep breath. “Unless the god withholds his blessing. Then it might...you must not say anything, do you understand? If you want to live, do not utter a word, do not act against anyone, do not protest in any way. You are being paid for utter obedience, and it is demanded.” He stared at me. “Do you understand this, Nikolas? Your mouth will be your undoing. I can only tell you this and hope you will remember. I will not, can not, spare you if you ignore my warning.”

“No, I won’t ignore it. I thank you for it. Jaime...why do you do this? You obviously hate it.”

He closed up immediately. “The god wishes it. Finish your book.”

Damn. Every time he started to look remotely human, he did this – became cold and cruel, like some kind of automaton. But the warning was a concession too, although it might just be to spare punishment on his own head – I got the impression it wasn’t, not mostly, but he was giving me no clues at all now, immersed in his note taking.

I let him be, and became absorbed in the text. It was actually quite interesting, as there was a lot of history of Gidin and the courts, the way the king’s powers had waxed and waned over time, and how a courtier could use this to their advantage. Jaime made no sound except the gentle rustle of his pages and his notes, and never spoke. It wasn’t much like being in the library in my village, but it wasn’t unpleasant for all that.

But at last he closed his books and took mine from me, carefully book-marking my page. “We have to go.”

“Go? I thought we had to bathe.”

“Not here. Another part of the temple.”

He put his cloak and scarf on, and gave me a cloak of my own to conceal my clothes. “Jaime?”

“Yes?”

“Tonight...I know you find me distasteful, but I’ll try not to displease you.”

He clenched his jaw. “It is not I who must be pleased. My feelings are irrelevant. All I require is that you follow my lead, and my advice. You will not be harmed, I promise, if you do that.”

I nodded, and then followed him out into the temple. I’d almost forgotten how gloomy and unpleasant the rest of the temple was, and now it was close to sunset, there was no light at all coming in through the rare windows. The torches flickered, casting long eerie shadows on the walls and statues, making them almost seem alive. I shivered and pulled my cloak tighter about me.

We had to walk quite a way, and up several long staircases. I would not have been able to tell you where we were in the temple at all, or even if we still were in the temple, although we had to be. I wondered why Jaime lived so far from his place of work – so to speak. Finally we came to a set of heavy bronze doors, guarded by four soldiers. We were let in, and then Jaime took me into an inner room set to the side. This was revealed to be a large bathing area, with mirrors and all manner of grooming implements on tables. I’d expected there to be attendants, but it seemed we would do it all ourselves.

I was told to strip, and this was also my first chance to see what Jaime had been hiding. To be plain, the man was simply beautiful. Broad shoulders, narrow hips, long and well formed legs – no one would have turned him from their bed, and some would be happy to pay to have him in it, even with his frigid manners. He was on the thin side, which, considering his eating habits, was no surprise, but he made me look plain, even though I knew I was well-favoured at least by the standards of our village. He seemed not to notice or care about my admiration. “You must be clean inside – have you ever practiced cleansing of this kind?”

“No. I’ve seen it done.” On animals, I thought rather despairingly as he held up an animal bladder attached to a hollow bone.

Calmly, as if he was giving directions on how to find a street, he told me how to ensure I was fully cleansed and sent me off to do what I needed to in a side room. At least we were granted that small privacy – I had no wish to see another man take a shit or anything else.

It took so long I was sure he would complain, but he didn’t. To my immense embarrassment, he made me bend over so he could inspect my efforts. “Good enough. Hold still.” Then I yelped as he began to wipe my anus with a cloth. “Hold still,” he snapped. “I’m only cleaning you.”

“Sorry. Could you just warn me in future?”

“Consider this your warning.” I sighed.

It didn’t feel bad, after the first shock – he was gentle and careful.

When he finished, I looked back at him over my shoulder. “I need to prepare you further. Do not scream again in that womanly fashion.”

Womanly? Cheeky bastard. I gripped the back of the chair and prepared to be humiliated. I’d seen the jars of oil and figured out what they were for, so it wasn’t too much of a shock when he began to probe me carefully with a finger, oiling and stretching me. It felt good, actually – my night-time adventures in Gidin had rarely involved such anointing. I had had to make do with spit and good will. Jaime seemed to be very skilful – but then he’d had a lot of practice too. At least I wasn’t to be fucked by a clumsy idiot.

He actually took the trouble to come in front of me and show me what he planned to use. “If you wear this until we are ready, as you are bathing, it will loosen you.”

The dildo was made of polished black marble. Someone had gone to some trouble to make it rather lifelike – but it was nearly twice the normal size of a cock. “Er.... Will it fit?”

“I believe so. If you don’t wish it....”

“No, if you say it helps, just do it.”

The bloody thing was cold and I was sure it would never go inside me, but he took such care, and was so slow about it, that eventually it slipped in. It felt very heavy in my bowels, not exactly pleasant, and I was certainly being well-stretched. “Finished?” I asked, my voice showing the strain I was feeling. Damn, it was big.

He nodded. “Bathe thoroughly after you shave, and wash your hair. I will help finish your grooming.”

Shaving while all I could think about was the enormous object in my arse was a new, and rather nerve-wracking experience, since I’d been told many times I had to be physically unblemished. Unfortunately, the dildo was making my hands shake. I had to grit my teeth and shave at about half my usual speed, but I managed to avoid cutting myself. I couldn’t even sit to soap myself before the bath, and I wondered if this was just another example of Jaime’s sense of humour – it wasn’t like he was hung like an ox after all. I’d seen bigger, not that he was small or anything. Maybe he just had an inflated sense of his own attributes.

He came out just as I was easing myself into the bath. “What’s wrong? Are you injured?”

“No, it’s this bloody thing you’ve put inside me. Gods, man, what made you think it would help?”

He looked utterly confused. “My lord Senku told me it would help. You mean it’s uncomfortable?”

“Of course it’s uncomfortable – haven’t you tried it on yourself?”

His expression went frigid. “That is not allowed. Get out and I’ll remove it.”

I climbed out of the bath and grabbed his arm. “What do you mean ‘that’s not allowed’? What’s so special about your arse?”

He gripped my wrist like a vise and pulled my hand off him. “Do not touch me,” he said in a low, menacing voice. “We are being watched. You ask too many questions. Bend over.”

Despite his anger, he was as careful removing the thing as he had been putting it in. The relief was immediate and I sighed. You really could have too much of a good thing. “In future, if something hurts, tell me. None of this is supposed to cause you pain of any kind.” He laid the dildo aside and looked at me. “I particularly do not wish to cause pain through sex.”

This was the guy who threatened to beat me to death and stab me any number of times, and who had actually slapped me? I really couldn’t work him out – why was he so scrupulous now? Was it just for our audience? Knowing we were already being watched did nothing for my nerves, of course.

“Get in the bath, we’re running out of time.”

I soaked while he soaped and scrubbed himself, even cleaning his nails, before rinsing himself several times. He didn’t join me in the bath – did he dislike the idea of sharing it with me, I wondered. Instead, he washed his fine hair and towelled it carefully, combing it so it fell straight and neat to his shoulders. Then he took some oil and carefully anointed his body, making it gleam in the torchlight. He looked at me, still lounging in the bath. “Get out, you must be made tidy.”

I dried myself, and then he made me sit as he dried and combed my hair, taking surprising care not to aggravate the bump on the back of my head, which still hurt but which was bearable so long as it wasn’t poked. Then he cleaned my nails, and wiped oil over my body just as he had his own. “If your anus is sore now, or later, we have ointment in my rooms which will help.”

“No, I’m fine. I’m not a virgin, you know that.”

His lips tightened at that remark, but I had no idea why. “Because I may not speak to you, you will need to follow my lead closely. Sit, lie as I indicate. I’ll do the rest. Are you sensitive in any areas? Do you dislike anything particularly?”

“Well, apart from huge stone penises, no.” He scowled. “I have sensitive nipples, but I’m not going to hit the roof if you touch them. I like pretty much everything except brutishness.”

“Have no fear of that,” he said coldly. “Do you remember my instructions?”

“Don’t speak, don’t interfere, don’t protest, follow your lead.”

He looked almost pleased. “You will bow to his holiness, and to Lord Paon, but then you are to pay attention to me and only me. If I am doing something you want me to stop, make this sign.” He made a circle with forefinger and thumb. “You may make sounds, only take care you do not use words.”

“Why?”

His eyes narrowed in annoyance. “I suggest you learn to speak when spoken to, and that, sparingly. There is a cloak over there, put it on.”

There were two dark red garments hanging on the wall, and when I picked one up, I realised it was made of the finest silk. They really didn’t stint themselves when it came to pleasuring the god, I thought. I slipped it over my shoulders – the silk was a little cold, but it felt good on my skin. When I turned around, Jaime was stroking his cock, oiling it. That he wasn’t masturbating for fun was obvious from his faint look of disgust. “Would you like me to do that for you?”

“How many times do I have to tell you – do not touch me. Ever.” He really should learn to stop scowling, I thought regretfully. Such a handsome man to have such an unpleasant expression. It changed to a wince as he slid something over his half-hard cock and his balls, and then he began to fist himself again.

“What’s that for?”

“To keep me hard.”

“What, you think I’m not going to turn you on enough?”

He utterly ignored me. Once he was completely erect – and I had to revise my opinion of his size, it was more impressive than I thought – he wiped his hands, pulled a rope on the wall which I assumed rang a bell somewhere, then put his own cloak on. “My lord Senku will inspect us. Mind that you display more respect than you do to me.”

I was grateful for the warning, sourly expressed that it was. Only a minute later, there was a triple knock on the door, and Jaime beckoned me to follow him through it.

There was a door near the one through which we had just come, and that led to a small ante-chamber. The priest Senku was there, and I followed Jaime’s example, bowing low. He said nothing to me, only turning to Jaime and asking, “He’s clean?”

“Yes, my lord.”

The priest grunted, then gripped my chin and made me open my mouth. I felt like a horse being inspected a market. He felt my hair, inspected my hands, and then, humiliating, made me bend over and pushed the cloak aside so he could see my arse and balls. “Satisfactory. Follow me.”

By this stage, I was quite glad no one seemed to be expecting me to be active in this whole business, because if someone had told me I was about to have sex with a dead goat, I wouldn’t have been less aroused. Sex wasn’t always wonderful in my experience, but it was always done for fun, and with a least a little joy – it was obvious just from looking at Jaime, that he hated what he was about to do. This did nothing for my self-esteem, let me tell you.

Only because Jaime had warned me so thoroughly did I manage not to gasp as we entered the next chamber. It was huge, all windowless black and red stone, lit by torches and braziers. In the middle of the room was a stone and silver throne. On it sat a figure dressed all in black, its face covered by a ferocious red mask -– the god incarnate, I presumed. He was flanked by guards, and sitting next to him in a smaller throne was a priest in black robes that seemed more voluminous than those worn by the others. He was wearing an elaborate metal head dress and a heavy silver and bronze collar. Rings adorned most of his fingers, and a long curving silver ornament snaked up his left arm. This was in contrast to the god, who had no ornament on him save for the mask. I figured this priest must be Minas – he looked like a pretty nasty character, his face even crueller than the mask of the god, but he had to be at least seventy years old, every one of them spent in pointless viciousness, I wouldn’t be surprised to learn

There were more priests standing to the side of the throne dais, as well as two guards. It looked like our ‘show’ was going to have quite an audience. In front of the throne was a padded table, more like a bench, with a thick cushion in front of it and to the side of it, a little way from it, was a low platform covered in red silk. Jaime bowed to the masked figure, as did I. He slipped the cloaks from our shoulders, leaving them in a silken puddle on the ground, then led me over the platform, and made me sit. I could feel padding, possibly furs, underneath the silk – it was like a very comfortable bed.

Minas clicked his fingers, and to the side, a door opened, and a young woman – nothing more than a girl really – came in accompanied by a guard who, from his more elaborate uniform and decorations, I guessed was a higher rank than the others. She was completely naked, and looked flushed, excited – something about her made me think she had been taking a narcotic, her movements a little too slow and clumsy to be normal, her eyes rather glazed and unaware.

The guard led her to the table, made her kneel on the cushion and bend over the table itself, spreading her legs so her sex was exposed. Senku came over to her and put his hand on her privates, beginning to rub them. She gasped a little in surprise but didn’t protest – in fact after a moment, she started to grind against his hand, making breathy little moans as she did so. So this was what Jaime meant about her being prepared? I felt sick. Senku was old enough to be her grandfather, and the leer on his face was disgusting.

The priest’s action was apparently Jaime’s signal to begin. He pushed me slowly back against the bed and knelt between my legs, facing the throne. He ran his hands gently down my sides, then repeated it just using his fingernails. Despite myself, I couldn’t help but enjoy the light, teasing, knowing touch. He kept doing it, so I concentrated on his hands and not the sounds I could hear close by of the girl being frigged by the pervert of a priest. Better to ignore that, just as he’d warned.

He rolled one of my nipples between his fingers, then bent and bit it, making me gasp. He looked at me sharply, so I did my best to show that I had remembered his warning. He nodded slightly, then repeated his attack. I arched into it – I loved that kind of attention. His hair had swung forward and was brushing my chest, a delightful sensation. I longed to run my hands through it, but I knew better by now, so I let him stimulate me with his tongue and his teeth. To my surprise, I was getting hard.

A gentle hand cupped my balls and rolled them, then I felt his finger circling my entrance, slipping in and fucking me a little. I moaned and pushed against it, wanting more, but he denied me that. Instead, he kissed his way down my stomach, tonguing my belly button until I could barely stand it any more, and then he kissed the tip of my now quite erect cock, before taking the head of it into his mouth and beginning to suck.

My fists clenched at the silk. I was more often the one giving than receiving this – I enjoyed it both ways – but rarely had I been treated with such skill, had such a sweet and silken mouth to enjoy. He took me all in, swallowing me, a trick I couldn’t even manage, and the feel of his throat about me made almost forget where I was and why I was here.

His probing finger was back, but he denied me enough for true pleasure, just as he stopped short of giving me release – if I’d been allowed to touch him, I probably would have grabbed his head and made him finish what he’d started, damn it! I almost whimpered when he released me, but the sound died in my throat when I looked up and saw his expression. His eyes were shimmering with tears, his lips pressed so tight that they were a single bloodless line – I was shocked at the utter misery I saw in his face. What was he looking at? What was he thinking about?

It was if his body was divorced from his mind, because he continued to pet and stroke me, teasing my cock with his hands, all while his face was a picture of devastation. My erection died almost immediately, and all his cleverness could not revive it. What was wrong?

Ignoring my lack of arousal, he indicated I should roll over and then he raised me on all fours. This put me facing the throne, and not even the teasing licks he began to give me around my arse could distract me from what I could see now. The god’s hands were clenched in fists, and something told me that his arms were somehow restrained under the sleeves of his robe. Dark eyes stared at us from under the mask, and there were muffled whimpers emerging, though nothing distinguishable as speech. I risked looking over my shoulder at Jaime, and found he was staring back at the god, his expression even more bleak than before – I don’t think he noticed I’d even moved. To my side, the girl was still being masturbated, writhing in abandoned ecstasy in a manner that I was sure was the result of a drug.

There was a small parting in the robes of the god, from which sprang an impressive, but entirely human looking cock, fully aroused. Minas, his expression greedy, had his hand on it. He licked his lips as he lazily stroked the god’s erection, but it seemed to me he was just keeping it hard, rather than trying to make the god come. Behind me, Jaime was doing his best to pleasure me with fingers and tongue, but I was too fascinated, too horrified by what I was seeing.

Minas nodded then, and Senku suddenly made the girl stand. She seemed rather weak-legged, so the guard had to help Senku take her to the throne. She ascended a set of steps, then Senku and Minas helped her sit astride the god’s lap, Minas’ hand still on the god’s erection, guiding it inside her. She gasped as she was entered – and so did I, because at that moment, Jaime shoved his own cock inside me.

I hated myself, but it felt good, sinfully good. It was still so perverted, the way he matched his thrusts to the rhythm of the girl riding the cock of her god, and part of me felt nauseated to be part of this at all. Over the girl’s shoulder, the god’s eyes burned into me, his hands clenching and unclenching, the gasps and moans of her increasing ecstasy almost concealing his muted groans. Minas watched everything avidly – her riding the god, me being fucked – and I wondered exactly who was being pleasured here.

It didn’t take long – the god came with a muffled roar that almost sounded like he was trying to say something, his hands clutching helplessly at the air. Was I only imagining despair in his eyes? It was really too dark to tell. As soon as he reached completion, Jaime stopped thrusting. I would have complained, but in the circumstances, I didn’t really blame him for a lack of enthusiasm.

With the priests’ help, the girl climbed off his lap and was helped unsteadily down the steps. Minas made her bend over and stuck his finger into her, then drew it out, examined it and nodded, clearly satisfied, his lips curling in an unpleasant smile that made my skin crawl. The girl was led away from the throne, taken in charge by the two lesser priests, and led out of the room. I wondered if she felt particularly holy, being full of godly sperm, or if she would even remember any of this tomorrow.

Jaime tugged on my shoulder. Neither of us had come, but our job was done, it seemed. He handed me my robe, bowed to Minas and the god, then I followed him out back to the bathroom. His eyes were wet, his lips still pressed into a painfully hard line. He said nothing until he closed the door behind us, and then it was only to tell me wash and to dress. “Jaime, are you all right? You look terrible.”

“Shut up,” he snapped, and there were tears in his voice too.

All I could do was obey him, using a cloth as he was doing to wipe myself clean. He was still somewhat erect, but when he removed the band he had placed around himself, his cock soon became flaccid. I wondered if he would ever had come, however long he had fucked me. As he’d promised, it had all taken very little time. I suppose I should have felt frustrated at being stimulated thus but not gaining release, but my mind was too busy thinking over the strangeness, the horror of it all. Why was Jaime crying? What kind of religion asked for such a farcical ceremony from its followers? And who was this ‘god’? One thing was for sure – that was a man behind the robes and mask, not a god. A man kept in restraints, stimulated unwillingly, and forced into sex with a woman who had to be drugged before she would consent.

It was clear Jaime would answer no questions in this room, and I was only too glad to leave it, following him back through the long twisting corridors and narrow stairs, and feeling inordinately relieved when the doors of his apartment closed behind us. Before I could open my mouth, he raised a hand. “Don’t ask me questions,” he said in a weary voice. “If you wish to...find release, do it in the bathroom, and wash afterwards. Never masturbate in the bedroom.”

“And you? What about your release?”

He only shook his head and turned to go into the bedroom.

I stood there for a few moments. I didn’t need release. What I did need were some answers, but to press him when he was so obviously weary and distressed would be cruel. Was it like this every time for him, or was it just because I was new? Somehow I didn’t think I was anything to do with his reactions – he had not really paid me any attention at all.

He was buried under the covers when I came in. In other circumstances, I would have gladly offered him some comfort, just because he was a human being in pain, but I knew he would hate me for even trying. I blew out the lamp and tried to calm my emotions.

I’d expected to be humiliated, embarrassed, even disgusted, but I hadn’t expected to feel such deep pity for Jaime. God or no god, Paon’s ‘blessing’ could never be worth such pain.

I slept badly and I know he fared no better. It didn’t surprise me that he was very subdued the following morning, and I felt it would be unkind to press him over the book issue, so I withdrew to the bedroom without being asked. I think he appreciated the solitude, because he roused himself a little over lunch, informing me that if I cared to, I could accompany him while he visited other parts of the temple to collect food, his laundry and so forth.

“Oh, I thought you had things brought and taken away for you.”

He gave me a hard look, but I didn’t think it was more than habit. “No one fetches and carries for me. I’m not asking you to either, if you don’t wish to.”

“No, I’d like that.” The temple was a frightening place, but anything was better than being trapped for a week in this small apartment. “Once the fortnight is up, can I really come and go as I wish? Wouldn’t it be easy for me to just run off and sell this thing?” I asked, flicking the collar.

He gave me a humourless smile. “You’re welcome to try. The last person who did so is still feeding the plants in the garden. In several parts of the garden. And they didn’t wait for him to die before spreading him about.”

I gaped at him. I’d come to realise that his own threats of violence were empty, though the emotions which prompted them were real enough. But when he spoke of the temple, I felt he was entirely serious – and I wondered how it avoided the king’s justice so thoroughly. The temple and the priests, according at least to the book I was reading, were certainly not above the law. How could they get away with this?

He finished his meal – or rather watched me eat – and left his own hardly touched, and took the plates away.

“You know, you’ll get sick if you don’t eat properly. I know that for certain.”

“My health is not your concern.”

“I never said it was. Can’t a man give another simple advice?”

“Not when the man is you, and not to me, no. If you’re determined to come, then the night soil can needs emptying.”

Figured. But I’d done worse tasks, and the thing had a lid so there was no smell. I had only to carry it while he brought our dirty clothes. He insisted on us wearing the concealing cloaks again, and I had to wonder why, but it wasn’t worth a battle over. As we walked along a route I had not yet taken, I was surprised to hear the distant sound of women’s laughter. “I thought there were no females in the temple.”

“There aren’t. We’re not actually in the temple itself, but in a side wing. There are separate kitchens and laundries for we who are unsanctified. Only the priests and acolytes live and eat in the temple proper. The guards, other staff, you and me, we live here. Women are permitted in this wing, but in no other part.”

“So the women who...?”

I thought he was going to tell me I talked too much again, but he only sighed. “They come from the temple of Neku which adjoins this.”

There had to be more to it, but we were in a public area so I didn’t push. After depositing the nightsoil can in what was clearly a collecting point for such things, and handing the clothes into a communal laundry, we came to the kitchens, identifiable from the smells coming from behind the wooden doors. I didn’t know what to expect, but it was in fact a perfectly ordinary, if very large and busy, kitchen, with a dozen or more people, mostly women, with a couple of young boys working by the open range. Jaime was greeted politely but without much enthusiasm, I noticed. He took me to a large, busty woman who was pounding dough into shape. “Mia, this is Nikolas. Josia’s replacement.”

“Hmmm. Is this one going to stick around this time, or should I just call him ‘hey boy’ to save time?”

“Whatever you wish,” he said coldly. “Do you have my provisions?”

“In the cold room.”

He looked at me. “Just wait here, I won’t be long.”

That left me the subject of a lot of curious scrutiny which I met with a deliberately cool demeanour. Finally Mia barked out a laugh. “This one’s got balls of steel, I think,” which made the others giggle. “Where are you from, boy?”

“My name’s Nikolas, not ‘boy’, and I’m from Jendon. You?”

“From Egin, of course. So you’re the new bumboy – what do you think of our little Jaime? Pretty but cold as snow, ain’t he?”

“He’s considerate,” I said firmly, ignoring the slur. “How many do you cook for here?”

“Here? Oh, fifty or more, not including ourselves. All of them with appetites like goats. Why, want a job in the kitchens?”

I shrugged. “If there’s no other call on my time, I don’t mind lending a hand. My mother taught me how to make bread, and I make a tasty sweet cake.”

That got me a fresh appraisal. “Is that so? Well, I’d like to see that – the bumboy with his hands covered in flour. You come down sometime and we’ll see how you fare.”

“You’re on.”

There wasn’t time for more than that before Jaime returned with a sack and a small box, which he handed to me. I wondered if he’d heard any of the exchange. I said goodbye politely and gave the younger girls one of my brighter smiles. I never knew when I might need an ally, and the kitchen staff were as good a place to start as any.

We collected a pile of freshly washed and folded clothes and bed linen from the laundry, and an empty nightsoil can from the latrines. As outings went, it was very, very ordinary, but I was still glad to have done it. For one thing, it was nice to know there were real human beings around the place. The second...well, it was interesting to know that Jaime was held in such low regard by his fellow servants, and that his role and mine were hardly a secret. Did it mean the servants didn’t believe in the God incarnate, or that they just accepted what he supposedly did?

More questions, no answers. As we came back to the rooms, I asked him, “What happened to Josia?”

His mouth tightened. “He ran away after a week. He’s the one fertilising the garden.”

“You mean – the guy who was here just before me, he’s dead?” He gave me a cool stare as an answer. “How long ago?”

“Two weeks.”

He took the box of vegetables from me while I was still contemplating this information, and stored them carefully on racks in the kitchen. “So...after he left and before I arrived, who...I mean....”

He folded his arms. “Whoever they gave me. Is it your habit to persist when it’s so very obvious this is a subject on which I do not want to converse?”

“Hey, it’s my job now, and if you lot are just going around high-handedly killing runaway servants, don’t you think I need to know about it?”

“You were warned before you signed the indentures. That’s as much discussion as I will have with you about it.” He took the clothes away from the table and walked into the bedroom.

I guessed, for him, he’d been pretty tolerant of my curiosity, and he was still rather depressed. I sat at the table and waited for him to return, and when I put my hand on the book in enquiry, he nodded. At least he wasn’t taking his mood out on me again.

That set the pattern for the next two weeks. Four more times our services were required. The day after, he would be withdrawn, but gradually recover some animation. He disappeared most other nights for a few hours, and always returned looking weary and desperately sad. Some nights I heard him crying, others I did not. The rest of the time, he worked quietly at his books, and I joined him when I wasn’t doing small errands. I realised pretty quickly that interaction with the other servants was as painful to him as it was welcome to me, so he gladly let me take on those chores. Until I could go outside the temple, it was my only contact with other people.

The actual job still revolted me, and I still burned to know the whole story, but in reality it occupied less than a couple of hours every few days. I could tolerate it, if I had to, and for now, I had to. I gained no release from his hands, and he never came at all that I saw, nor tried to relieve himself afterwards. His attentions were pleasurable for a brief period, but not in the least joyful or satisfying. I suppose that was a relief to me – I would have hated to find I came to like such a situation.

The rest of the time I was making a study of Jaime and of the other servants. The disdain they held him in was less on account of what he did, than his cold, superior attitude, which they felt was him looking down on them. I was coming to realise it was just his way of protecting himself from people, who he found a source of unrelieved pain. Why he was like that, and why he was in this situation, I had yet to find out. But I had already learned that he had only been in the temple for four years. Before that, there had been another surrogate who’d disappeared. No one knew what his fate was. I had an uneasy feeling that he too was fertilising a few roses, but no one really had any clue to offer. One day the man disappeared – a week later, Jaime turned up, and he’d been cold and distant from the start. The surrogate previous to the one who’d disappeared had died. Mia was the only one who knew much about them but she’d only been at the temple for seven years, so if there had been other surrogates, she didn’t know about it. The other surrogates had not been, so I learned, particularly warm or happy people either, but Jaime had really put noses out of joint, and in doing so, had lost potential allies.

It was beginning to sound like he’d been chosen for his role against his wishes, reluctantly obeying the dictates of his religion. It might explain a lot – the resentment, the coldness, the wish for solitude. But I was damned if I could work out the reason for his grief, and his strange restraint in his appetites of all kinds. It was almost as if he was punishing himself.

I had to get out of the temple – I was spending too much time worrying about a man who cared nothing for me, nor me for him, and who was only going to be part of my life for a couple of months.

At last it was two weeks after my arrival. We had served the god the night before, so I wasn’t sure Jaime was going to cooperate in letting me go, but to my surprise, after breakfast, he gave me a small leather purse and a key to the rooms. “There are three silver pieces in there – an advance on your salary so if you waste it, that’s your loss. It has to last you a week, there will be no more. Don’t try to remove or sell your collar and bracelet, do not attempt to have sexual contact with anyone, and be back before midnight.”

“That’s it?”

“What more do you want?”

“Er.... I was expecting more trouble, that’s all.”

“I think you’ll probably manage to find that on your own.” He rubbed his eyes. He looked very sad this morning.

“Would you like to come with me?”

He stopped rubbing his eyes and stared at me. “Why?”

“Um...for company? Fresh air? Something different from books?”

The wrong thing to say. “I like my books,” he said with a steely glare.

I held my hands up in surrender. “I know, I know. Do you want me to fetch anything while I’m out?”

He hesitated, then shook his head. “No. Thank you. I...I’ll be going out myself. Perhaps tomorrow.”

“Then we can go together.”

“Nikolas, just get out of here, will you?”

He wasn’t angry, but equally he wasn’t in a mood to talk to me, so I gave up. He told me how to find the main temple entrance, and warned me not to speak of my new position to anyone. That was why I needed the cloak, apparently – to avoid questions. It made sense, I supposed.

Being out in sunlight and breathing air that didn’t smell vaguely (or strongly) of burnt flesh was such a relief I nearly cried. I didn’t know how Jaime could stand it, especially when he had the option of going out just as I was.

Oh well. The streets seemed as busy as ever, and were a welcome sight after two weeks’ seclusion – somehow it had felt longer. I wondered what to do with my wealth and my leisure. I’d not actually spent any time in Egin without the ever-present worry of trying to survive, or needing to find work. In fact, in six months, I had had hardly a moment of truly restful time at all.

It was certainly novel to walk past the shops and the market stalls and the inns, knowing I had coins to spend, even to waste if I wanted to, but perversely, I could find nothing I really craved to own. I was well fed, well clothed, and it was too early to want a beer. I ended up just strolling along the main avenue, the one that ran in front of the palace down to the dock. Stretching my legs felt good, as did the sun on my face. It was odd to see my fellow Jendonese, still so desperate, when I walked along with my future relatively secure. After my experience with Johan and Syros, I felt less inclined to share my good fortune, but I wasn’t exactly attracting friendly looks anyway. It took me a little while to realise it was because of my cloak, my sandals, were those that the priests wore – they took me for one, or at least, they knew me for a temple creature. I could hardly deny that I was, or explain what I was doing even if they asked me.

I wondered if I really was being watched, as Jaime had warned – I doubted he would say it if I was not. He, after all, could hardly care if I ran off except it put him to the trouble of replacing me. I reminded myself to ask him why he had chosen me in the first place – you never knew with him, he might just answer such a question.

I walked down to the docks, and watched the ships for a while, homesickness afflicting me again as I saw ships bound for Jendon. The drought had to end one day....

I sighed finally and headed back to town. I wondered if a silver coin or two would buy me a book of my own in this city. There was a street of booksellers, one I knew well since I had walked it many times looking for casual labour. Booksellers were rather stingy, I’d found, and would rather do without help than pay for a bit of extra assistance. I stepped into the first one I came to. “Oy, I told you the other day. I’ve no work for the likes of you.”

I turned and gave the merchant a sweet smile. “Yes, you were just as polite then. But I’m here as a customer today, unless, of course, you want to turn away my business.”

“Cus....” He stopped and took in the cloak, the fine linen trousers. “That’s temple clothing.”

“Is it? Do you do much trade with them?”

“Not me. Joa down the street has a regular, wears a cloak just like that. Comes in a lot, I see him, but he never comes in here. Guess I’m not good enough for him,” he sniffed.

Privately I was intensely curious to speak to this Joa, but I made myself stop and look at the books on offer in this particular shop, the owner hovering all the time as he expected me to steal something. He was vastly overrating the value and interest of his stock if he did. Most of the books were turgid biographies of self-important Gidinians, or even more boring books on mathematics or physics which looked completely out of date. I’d almost decided that there really was nothing of use to me, when I saw a dog-eared volume that I remembered from my mother’s kitchen. “How much?”

“This?” He picked it up as if it would give him the pox. “I don’t even know how it got on this shelf.”

“Never mind that – how much?”

“A quarter coin.”

That was the smallest coin they used in this land – it would hardly dint my small funds at all. “Done.”

He looked at it in distaste. “Someone’s left that here as a joke,” he muttered as he accepted my silver.

“Perhaps you should just give it to me then, if it’s not really for sale.”

“It’s on the shelf, it’s for sale.” He handed me back my change with some reluctance. “Are you sure there’s nothing else I can tempt you with?”

Something more expensive, was what he meant. “Not today,” I said politely. “But I’ll return.” And likely find nothing better to choose from. Still, he bowed respectfully as I left. Amazing the difference having a little money made with some people.

I discreetly asked which shop was owned by Joa, and was directed there. I’d been in there once or twice, but the owner didn’t recognise me, although he did recognise the cloak. “Oh, do you know Master Jaime?”

“I might do. Why do you ask?”

“I have letters for him. They came in on the ship a week ago. I’m surprised he hasn’t been here, he’s usually here more regular than this. Perhaps you could do him a favour and take them to him.”

Yes, and then he could cut me into fertiliser-shaped pieces for interfering with his personal affairs. “I think he’s likely to be here tomorrow. I’ll tell him you’ve got them for him.”

“Thanks. Master Jaime’s one of my best customers. I wouldn’t want him to be inconvenienced, but he’s very strict about his letters not being sent to him at the temple. It’d be no trouble, I’ve told him often enough, but he always refuses.”

“Ah.” I didn’t want to ask any questions, so I could honestly state I’d not been prying, but the man wasn’t the most discreet person I’d ever met, and as I explored his admittedly excellent collection of books, he followed me about, giving me frank opinions about each volume, and more than a little information about my co-worker. I learned that Jaime used the shop as a mailing address, both for sending and receiving, and that he as often received books as letters. Quite a number, Joa said, were addressed to ‘Doctor Jaime’ which was incorrect, he’d been told. “Maybe they just think he should be because he’s so clever,” he joked. I agreed noncommittally.

I also learned that he always came to the shop alone, but that he was occasionally seen in the company of other young men. “Never the same one, which is strange. Must be a lot of you fellows working at the temple. What is it you do?”

“I’m not permitted to say,” I said in perfect truthfulness. “I’ll take this.” Like my first purchase, it was old and cheap, but it was from Jendon and reminded me of home. I feared I was going to spend all my coin on nostalgia at this rate.

Joa felt no need to excuse the book at all, and invited me back to see others that might come in, if such was my taste. “We get a lot from your country. Lot of fellows selling their precious books for a bite to eat – such a shame really. I hope they get to replace them when the drought breaks, though it will lessen my supply.”

I thanked him in words and in my heart for such consideration to my countrymen, rare among his kind, and bid him good day. By then, I judged it late enough to buy a bite to eat for lunch, so I got a good hot meat roll and a mug of ale, then retired to a bench to consume them. I realised it was the same bench where two weeks ago I had been in such despair, wondering how I would survive after being robbed. Had I been able to talk to the man I’d been then, I couldn’t decide if I would have advised myself to follow the course of action that I had, or to just throw myself into the harbour and be done with it.

I wasn’t, when you got right down to it, that unhappy. I suppose I felt worse for Jaime than myself, and wished I’d found more honest labour than what I had. I no longer felt I was a whore. A whore delivered pleasure for money. Unless you counted Minas (who I was pretty sure went back to his cell and masturbated furiously after each session, unless he was worried his ancient cock would fall off if he used it), I wasn’t pleasuring anyone. I was more like a rake in the hands of a gardener, and aroused as much emotion in Jaime as a garden implement would. I itched to use my hands for something more wholesome. The best I could manage at the moment was kneading dough under Mia’s direction, not an unpleasurable occupation but hardly what I was trained for.

It was one of the reasons I’d bought the second book, which was illustrations and instructions for metalwork patterns used in household decoration. It was rather old, but the designs were still lovely. I sighed. Maybe when I’d finished my contract, I would use the money to buy metal working tools and set up business for myself. I would need to see where the market was best – Egin was no use, it was flooded with craftsmen, one of whom must have sold this very book. I suspect I would have to travel to the west and take my chances there.

I spent an hour or two reading, and then walked some more. I’d really intended to stay out of the temple as long as I could, but I found there really was precious little to occupy me in a city where I knew no one, and those I might know, I couldn’t trust not to rob me. Reluctantly, I took one last turn through the market – and had an inspiration. I hurried to a particular stall I’d always been drawn to, but could never justify buying any goods from. This time, I could satisfy my urges and still have plenty of coin to spare.

Feeling oddly cheerful, I headed back to the temple, though it was still light. Knowing I could come outside the next day and any day I chose, made it easier than it could be to return to this dark and evil place. I was determined Paon and his minions might buy my body for a time, but never my soul, nor my spirit. I would not be like Jaime – at the end of two months I would walk away richer, healthier and in full possession of my self-respect. If Jaime had any balls, he would have done the same. The temple may have had its spies, but there was always a way to escape, if one wanted it badly enough.

Jaime was surprised to see me back, but whether it was a good surprise or a bad one, I couldn’t tell. “I’ll need to make supper,” he said, and I realised he hadn’t been planning to eat at all if I hadn’t come back. I wondered what he lived on – breakfast was the only thing he regularly consumed but that was always a small meal. We’d already fasted in the evening four times by order but he rarely ate more than a mouthful or two when food was served. Tonight, I hoped to change that a little.

He made a simple meal and dished it out. He asked nothing about my day, and I could see he had been at his books all the time I was gone. He stared at his plate with a sad expression, and picked at the meat a little, but he clearly had less appetite than usual. I waited until he went to clear the plates. “No, leave them a moment. I bought you a gift.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“A gift, a present – you understand the concept?” I drew the small sack out of my pocket. “Put out your hand.”

“No.”

I glared at him in frustration. “Damn it, Jaime, I trust you when we have to work, this is nothing like as bad. Put your hand out, man, and stop being so grumpy.” Reluctantly, and with a heavy scowl, he did so. I placed the sweetmeat into his palm. “There you go. The finest Jendon could produce.”

“What...what is this thing?”

“You’re kidding.” No, apparently he wasn’t. “It’s a sweetmeat, you eat it.”

“Sweet?”

I stared. “Are you telling me you’ve never eaten a sweetmeat before?”

He tried to give me it back. “Yes. I don’t want it.”

“Don’t be stupid, just try it. It’s good – there’s a Jendonese sweetmaker in the market and we make the best sweetmeats in the world.” He was looking at it as if it would explode in his hand. “Jaime, you can suck a cock – I promise you this tastes a lot nicer.”

He sat down, still staring at the thing. “Why?”

“Why? Because it tastes good.”

“No...why did you buy this for me?”

“Because you need sweetening up,” I half-joked. “Please? Just try it once?”

He scowled again but then suddenly popped the whole sweetmeat into his mouth, clearly expecting it to be nasty – maybe he thought I was playing a prank. His face changed as he began to chew. “It’s....” He coughed – shouldn’t talk with your mouth full, I nearly said. “Sweef,” he said indistinctly around the remains.

“Yes, that would be why it’s called a sweetmeat. Do you like it?”

He swallowed. “It’s.... Yes.”

“Good,” I said, grinning, and gave him another one, popping one into my own mouth.

But he handed it back to me. “You shouldn’t spend your money on me.”

“Gods, it was only two quarter coins, and I got a whole sack for that. It was worth it to see the look on your face.”

“So you just bought it for the entertainment value. I should have guessed.”

He stood up, clearly annoyed. I reached for his arm, but stopped myself in time. “No, I didn’t. I just...wanted to give you a treat.”

“Why?”

I shrugged. “Because you don’t get any nice things, and this was simple enough to provide. A sweet now and then, what’s the harm in that?”

He turned away. “Don’t spend your money on me, Nikolas.”

“Why not?” He refused to answer and I sighed. “I went to Joa’s shop today.”

He spun around, enraged. “You what?” He advanced on me with murder in his eyes. “You spied on me?”

His knife was in his hand. I dropped the sack of sweetmeats on the table and scrambled out of my chair. “Wait! It wasn’t like that!”

“Oh no? How, pray, did you light on the one shop in the whole of Egin that I happen to do business with?”

The knife was now under my eye, and his hands were shaking, his face red with fury. “Jaime, calm down! Look, it was almost an accident, all right – damn it! Just listen to me, you bloody idiot!” I shoved him back desperately, and bolted for the bedroom, slamming the door shut in his face.

I leaned against the door to stop him forcing it open. Gods! I thought he was over this. I should have known the madness still lay within him. “The shopkeeper recognised my cloak and said someone dressed just like me went to Joa’s a lot,” I shouted through the closed door. No response. “I admit I went there to find out who they meant, and Joa just starting talking to me. I offered no information, asked no questions. Ask him yourself. He’s got your letters, he wanted me to deliver them for you.”

Still nothing. I looked around me for some kind of shield – the only thing was the pillows. I grabbed one and held it in front of me, then opened the door, ready at every moment for him to lash out at me. But no attack came. Instead, I found he was sitting at the table, his hands clasped in front of him, his head bowed. “I’m sorry,” I said quietly. “I admit to curiosity. But I wasn’t prying, not intentionally. All he told me was that you use it as a mailing address. I won’t tell anyone, I swear. But if the temple....”

“The temple knows,” he said harshly. “They know everything I do.”

“But why...?”

“Because it’s all I have that is mine, that isn’t part of this,” he said, jerking his head roughly at the room. “A part of my life where I can just be...a scholar, and no one knows that I’m....”

“A surrogate?”

“A whore. A filthy, faithless, worthless prostitute.”

He still had the knife in his hands, I saw now, so I approached with caution, leaving the pillow on a chair. “You’re not filthy, or worthless. You’re a good man.”

He laughed. “What do you want, Nikolas? What are you after from me? First a gift, then compliments – do you seek to woo me? Shouldn’t the fucking come after the wedding?”

Behind the sarcasm, there were raw misery. “I want nothing that you don’t already give. All right, I’d like you not to try and kill me, and a little more politeness would be nice, but I want nothing else. You feed me, protect me, treat me with consideration. You lend me books. You...you care not to hurt me during sex. I just wanted to...cheer you up.”

He blinked up at me, and there were definitely tears on his lashes. “With food? Like a sickly child?”

“No, like I would do any friend, or my brothers. I had a good day – I wanted to bring you a little of that back to you.”

“You’re a fool.”

“Yes, perhaps. I’ve never been noted for my brains or my sense.” Cautiously, I took a seat near him. “I’ll understand if you don’t want to tell me, but I’d still like to know what it is you’re doing here. Are you writing a book?”

He shook his head and wrapped his arms around himself. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“All right. I really won’t tell anyone, but I’d like to go back to Joa’s shop, with your permission. He has quite a few Jendonese books. I bought one from him. Look.” I wiped my hands on my trousers and then fetched the sack from the coat hook where I’d stored my purchases. I handed it to him. “It’s about metal working.”

“Yes, I can see. And the other?”

“Oh. That was a little frivolous of me, but I couldn’t resist.” I showed it to him.

He frowned. “Cooking?”

“Yes. How to make sweetmeats like the ones I bought, and others. I thought I could show Mia a thing or two.”

He looked down, away from me, away from the book. “So you can bribe her?”

I took the book away from him. “You really think very little of me, do you. Very well. At least I won’t be beholden to you any more for reading material. I can read these and hatch up more dastardly plans to hurt you, and then you can be completely assured that you were right all along.” I picked up the books and the sweetmeats. “Good night.”

I went back into the bedroom, and I admit, I was almost as angry as he had been before. I’d just tried to do something simple, something nice for him, and he’d spat in my face. I figured we were now even in the rank discourtesy stakes.

I threw myself on the bed and picked up my book on metal working, but I was too furious to concentrate. How dare he? I’d had a single pleasant day in six months and it was all ruined, just because he was suspicious and mean-spirited.

I heard the door open but I ignored it. At that point, I really didn’t care if he wanted to stab me from behind. “Nikolas?”

“What?”

“May I talk to you?”

“It’s your place, Master Jaime, how can I stop you?”

“Please?”

Now he had never said ‘please’ to me. Surprised, I rolled over to face him. “What do you want?”

He held out a purse, much larger than the one he’d given me earlier. “I realise...I made a mistake to choose you for this role. You’re not really suitable temperamentally.”

“Too bad, I signed a contract. You’ve got me for two months, you know that.”

“Yes. Take this.” Puzzled, I did so. It was heavy, and clearly held a lot of coins. “I...receive an allowance. I save most for...well, I have savings. Not much, that’s all of it. Fifty silver coins. I want you to take it tomorrow and leave. It’s two weeks wages and a little extra. I know it’s not much, but it’s all I have. Please, Nikolas.”

I stared at him, looked at his desperate eyes. “Why? We’ve had an argument, it’s not the first. If you weren’t so bloody touchy, we’d be all right.”

He shook his head. “This job isn’t for you. The others...the ones who couldn’t read – they weren’t smart enough to be bored, or to get into trouble. I’m afraid for you. You’re too clever, you’ll ask the wrong questions and you’ll get killed. I don’t want that on my conscience.”

I put the purse down on the bed. “Why not? You think I’m a whore, a deceitful bastard who only does nice things to get favours. Why would you care if I got killed.”

He looked down. “I shouldn’t have said that,” he said quietly. “Will you take the money and leave?”

I admit I was tempted. But at the same time, that wretched perverse streak in me wouldn’t let me. I shook my head. “Sorry, I’ve a use for two months’ wages. It’s not enough.” I tossed the purse back at him. He caught it and straightened up. “But if it makes you happy, I’ll stop trying to be nice to you. Damned if I want it flung back in my face every time. So you can run away now and sulk over your books. Your secret’s safe, and I won’t bother you again.”

“Then on your head be it,” he said stiffly, and stalked out.

Touchy bloody crazy bastard, I thought. You don’t get rid of me that easily.